Whoever originated that phrase probably did not think about the watch I purchased yesterday.
For a time period of about one day, I was without a working watch. Long story.
Instead of hassling with a new battery for one of the dead ones and having to deal with fly-by-night kiosks at the mall where one always seems to have to go to get a watch battery changed, I just bought a new one. I won’t say what kind, what brand, or what store.
Of course, there isn’t too much to it, so what possessed me to read this new watch’s instruction “manual” (really, two flimsy over-folded sheets of paper) is a mystery. Still, I did.
NINE different languages. Yes, the instruction papers have the same instructions in NINE different languages.
One may think, “Well, the global economy, global distribution — you’ll want the instructions written in nine of the world’s most common languages for worldwide sale.”
True enough. BUT: The instructions specifically said (in nine languages) that these instruction sheets were intended for inclusion for watches sold in the U.S.A. and Canada. Let that phrase sink in when I tell you what those nine languages are, for they are a good look at America’s (and Canada’s) demographic future.
Since it was the U.S.A. and Canada, two of the languages are English and French. Still, one can take heart that in each instruction set, English was the first language. We still haven’t been demoted that far down, not yet. For very obvious reasons, one was Spanish. Layup.
The other six, therefore, will be a good lesson on what we are becoming, or what our betters think we are becoming.
Two more languages are Oriental languages of the pictographic-hieroglyphic variety. Now, I know that Chinese, Japanese and Korean look very similar, and seeing one of them, I can tell that it is one of those three. But I cannot tell which one of those three that one of them is. There are two such languages on this instruction sheet, so it is two of those three, but I cannot confirm just by looking which two. If I had to guess, I would say the two are Chinese and Korean, as those are two prominent and high-growth minorities in the U.S.A. and Canada.
The remaining four are: Vietnamese, Bosnian, Arabic and Portugese.
While Vietnamese is an East Asian language, it’s not as hieroglyphical as the Oriental trio I wrote of above. Bosnian and Serbian are similar, but because of the influx of Bosnian refugees in the late 1990s, I am almost certain I am reading Bosnian rather than Serbian. Interestingly, Vietnamese and Bosnians are two prominent minorities in St. Louis City. In fact, as early as 2000, the St. Louis City Police Department had the translationist manpower for officers to communicate with Spanish, Vietnamese and Bosnian speakers.
Arabic — well, that’s necessary if you want to sell anything in the Detroit area.
As far as Portugese goes, that’s an enigma. The world’s most populous Portugese-speaking country is Brazil, but these instructions were meant for U.S.A. and Canada distribution. Has there been a recent influx of Brazilians that I don’t know about? Or are the powers that be anticipating it, or trying to encourage it?
No, I am not going to translate this blog entry into eight other languages.