Fun With Headlines

LinuxHow2: What would Jesus do? He’d use Linux, that’s what

I use Linux, and Jesus Christ is my personal savior. But I don’t see the word “Linux” anywhere in the Bible. I do read an admonition about the dangers of putting words in God’s mouth at the end of the Bible, though.

KABA: What do you think of this politician?

HWETEESE was for gun control.

P-D: Dead woman votes [absentee] in StL primary

No word on whether dogs have voted yet.

Malkin: Stimulating tax rebates for illegal aliens

Looks like the stimulus package will stimulate the economies of both China and Mexico.

P-D: Porn star [Ron Jeremy] was the big draw at SIUE debate

The Edwardsville P.D. took him into custody for a short period, as they thought that Khalid Sheik Mohammed broke out of Gitmo.

Bloomberg: Giuliani Fell From Lead to Also-Ran Among Republicans

The news service founded by the current mayor bashes the former mayor.

Reuters: N.Y. lawmakers want sex offenders’ email addresses

N.Y. lawmakers haven’t heard of disposable e-mail addresses.

USDOJ: Justice Department to Monitor [Yesterday's Primary] Election in Florida [to assure Spanish Language access]

I thought we purchased Florida from Spain.