Fun With Headlines, Barack H. Obama and John S. McCain III Edition

CNS: Obama Woos Working-Class Voters in Michigan

Working-class voters in Michigan wonder if a President that looks like Detroit will have a cabinet that looks like America.

ABC: Obama Gaffes on Iraq and Afghanistan [Languages]

Repeat after me, Barry: Pashto, Urdu and Dari are Indo-European languages. Arabic is a Semitic language.

AP: Top Taliban leader vows revenge on America

“Now, see? There’s a good use of our Arabic translators.” — Barack O.

AFP: Shaken Republicans look to McCain as savior

If the blind leadeth the blind, they both shall fall into the ditch.

LoS: John McCain: Illegal immigration no longer a problem

With McCain’s amnesty, there will be no more illegal aliens.

AP: McCain outlines vision of Iraq victory [by 2013]

All for the bargain basement price of $14 trillion ($3.6 trillion in 2008 dollars).

P-D: Highway 40 work will impact traffic

Road work usually does impact traffic.

P-D: Hardee’s bucks trend, rolls out another big burger [for $4.49]

Actually the bread’s probably the biggest cost component these days.

Steve Patterson: Cherokee Street May Remain a “dry” Street

When I think of comparative adjectives and Cherokee Street, I’m not thinking of “dry” versus “wet.”

Mpls. Star-Tribune: New [female cleavage] revealing Starbucks logo has group screaming ‘Slutbucks!’

Starbucks soon to open a coffee bar in every Abercrombie & Fitch.

Reuters: Vatican scientist says belief in God and aliens is OK

Rome soon to get a George Noory show affiliate.