NYDN: Worker dies at Long Island Wal-Mart after being trampled in Black Friday stampede
“Stampede,” as if human beings are herds of animals. On Black Friday, they are.
AP: Black Friday shoppers out in force, but cautious
They’re lining up at 1 AM in order not to buy as much China-made crap from the store that will open at 4 AM.
WFMY-TV 2 NC Triad: Black Friday Begins With Long Lines Nationwide
There as another occasion this November for long lines, too, but then, a lot of people gave up, unlike today. After all, shopping is more important than voting.
CSM: Army uses video games in suicide prevention
Which are on sale this morning at Wal-Mart for $30, only up until 1 PM or supplies run out.
CSM: Former South African addict helps others kick the habit – by surfing
Smoking, South Africa’s biggest problem, for sure.
Reuters: Americans shun lotteries in times of trouble
In times of trouble, it’s even more true that the lotto is the only way that you’re going to get rich.
AFP: Bush says he will miss commander-in-chief role
But not miss the press conferences and the requisite sight of Helen Thomas.
McClatchy: Doris Kearns Goodwin discusses Lincoln, Obama _ and their ‘rivals’
She discusses somebody else’s historical insights.
AP: Guyana to close Net cafes that offer cheap calls
Yet, they allowed Jonestown.
AP: Cisco plans 4-day shutdown to cut costs
The article claims they’ll save $1 billion over their four-day shutdown. At $250 million a day to run, the White House is cheaper.
Reuters: Vive la difference — French say need biggest condoms
Concerning the subject that is most prone to hyperbole.
AP: Santa Ana police pull over, stun naked DUI suspect
And therefore have no doubt what size condoms to get him.
AP: Full-size cardboard figure causes NJ bank standoff
The cops passed on reading the cardboard figure his rights, because they figured he would remain silent.
AFP: Helicopters fly to the rescue of Swedish beetles
Hello, Sweden? Beetles can fly.
CSM: Nepal’s unjust ban on private schools
NEA studing the Nepal model.
CNS: President Washington Proclaims America’s Duty to ‘Obey’ God and ‘Be Grateful for His Benefits’
That had to drive the ACLU nuts…oh wait, there was no ACLU in 1789.
P-D: For newly-arrived St. Louis immigrants an “opportunity to thank God” [on Tgiv]
Who do they thank on other days?
V-Dare: Outsourcing Lawyers
They can start with about half the lawyers on the House and Senate Judiciary Committees.
