The First “Fun With Headlines” Edition from Southern Illinois

5 01 2009

Drudge:   NBC BANS COULTER FOR LIFE; CUT FROM ‘TODAY’ SHOW OVER BOOK’S CLAIMS, NO MORE CABLE

No more MSNBC for Ann?  Who the hell’s gonna notice?

LAT:  Obama- inspired hope goes only so far in Kenya

Only goes so far as IQ can take the hopesters.

AP:  Historians battle Wal-Mart over key Civil War site

Either way, the South loses.

Billboard:  Prince To Roll Out Three Albums This Year

And all three combined won’t sell that many copies.

Internet News:  What will Fedora 11 be called?

My recommendation is “Fedora 11.”

Malkin:  Illinois lt. governor laments his “laughing stock” state

Well, Pat, come down to Carbondale, and see that it’s no joke when you actually have to live under Chicagograd occupation.

Diane Meyer:  Illinois in the rear view mirror

I’m hoping that southern Illinois puts Illinois in the rear view mirror.  The state of Little Egypt, anyone?

SEMO:  Detroit lawyer gets 5-cent IRS bill, 4-cent refund

And a note saying that he lived in a two-bit town.


SEMO:  Ham hobby keeps Scott City couple close

Reminds me of the “Blondie and Dagwood” pair that once frequented a 2m repeater in south St. Louis city.


P-D:  Former schools chief gets 30-day “shock” jail sentence

Pilfered six figures and gets one month — that’s what’s shocking.


AP:  QVC will sell memorabilia at Obama inauguration

That’s just the right institution to be hawking Obama crap, QVC.

KSDK:  Obama girls start school with photographers in tow

I highly doubt they were wearing QVC jewelry.

AFP:  Far-left extremists’ gun used in Greek police attack

Whaaaat?  Far-left extremists don’t believe in their own gun control?


AP:  Kaine says he’ll limit time spent as party leader

Good thing, because too much time doing so means that the Klingons will mistakenly think that one of their own runs the DNC.

CQ Politics:  Wamp Announces Run for Tennessee Governor

Propopses that servers hosting state government websites will use the Windows/Apache/Mysql/PHP (WAMP) stack.

Bloomberg:  Franken May Be Certified Winner in Minnesota Senate Race Today

Take out five words, and I would call it the truth.

Reuters:  Many teens display risky behavior on MySpace: study

In contrast to their non-risky behavior while not on MySpace.


Time:  A Brief History of Hangovers

Such a book about the Vatican goes right up there with “The Book of Virtues” by Bill Clinton and “How to Sustain a Musical Career” by Art Garfunkel.

CNS:  Some US Cities Eliminate Criminal-History Question

Murphysboro, Illinois is probably one of them.

KFVS-12:  Man charged with 50 counts of sodomy, 20 counts of sexual abuse

And yet, they’re going to send him to prison.

Seattle Times:  San Francisco considers plan to charge drivers

Because San Francisco gas is so cheap. (?)


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