ESPN: Brooks, Dunn done in Tampa Bay
Their next concert is in Atlanta.
CNS: Study Finds 1 in 5 NFL Players in ‘80s Used Steroids
Almost 0 in 5 AFC players used.
CNS: Use Stimulus As Intended or We’ll Embarrass You, Biden Says
What’s he gonna do? Give wedgies to Republican governors at the next NGA meeting?
CNS: Barney Frank: Republicans Didn’t Applaud Obama for Fear of Limbaugh and Hannity
As opposed to the Democrats, who had all sorts of different opinions about the porkulus and had no fear of the President.
Malkin: Helen Thomas said what about Bobby Jindal?
That he was pitiful — proving a broken clock is right twice a day.
P-D: Rescued tiger is moving closer to St. Louis
Hide the pork chops and the small dogs. Otherwise, they’ll be Grrrrrrrrreat!!!
NYT: I Ponied Up for Sheryl Crow?
Yes, Maureen, you’re helping to stimulate the economy of Kennett, Missouri.
AP: LA County urges name change for Negrohead Mountain
I have a suggestion: Monicahead.
Sky News: Immigration Crisis On Britain’s Doorstep
Huh? Britain’s an island, and unless they’re the world’s best endurance swimmers, you’re pretty safe.
CNS: Intelligence Chief: ‘Global Economic Crisis,’ Not Iran or Al Qaeda, Is Top Security Threat to U.S.
Who says Iran or AQ didn’t have anything to do with the global economic crisis?
P-D: House ignores Obama’s call for sacrifice, boosts 09 budget
Oh no sucker, “sacrifice” didn’t include House Democrats, it means you.
SEMO: Rush Limbaugh offers $800,000 for Cape Girardeau airport improvements
Maybe it needs a new runway to handle all those BBQ and Rush Limbaugh Museum tourists?
AP/Obama: Police: Miami piano teacher kills kids, wife, self
The piano was unharmed.
AP: MSNBC’s Chris Matthews explains ‘Oh God’ remark
He was sorry for taking Barack Obama’s name in vain.
Reuters: Mexico vows more troops for drug war near U.S. border
And by “troops” they mean drug runners.
Reuters: Obama forecasts $1.75 trillion deficit this year
Remember the good ole days when you could get a whole Federal budget for $1.75 trillion? You know, like nine years ago?
NPR: Expert: 10-Minute Workouts Can Have Big Payoff
The 10-minute workout that most people get can have a big payoff nine months later.
LiveScience: Sex Goes Way Back, Fossil Find Shows
Not long after jawed fish invented sex, a male asked a female for sex in exchange for a piece of algae, starting the world’s oldest profession.
AP/Obama: Apple director says no change in Jobs’ plans
Someone named “Jobs” might not have one.
AP: Pop star Stevie Wonder celebrated at White House
Stevie Wonder is almost has glad as Obama that American society is colorblind.
