Operation Pulled Pork

SEMO:  New Guard site at Wappapello to provide urban operations training

Urban street fighting in Southeast Missouri?  I can see the briefing now.  “You’re mission is to liberate 500 pounds of pit roasted pulled pork barbecue in Dexter, Hayti and Steele.”

V-Dare:  RNC’s Michael Steele – How’s that spelled, again?

S-T-U-P-I-D.

Jihad Watch:  Italy: 60% of mosques “run by fanatical imams”

CBS News can now project that Fanatical Imams will now run Italian Islam.

CNS:  Gov’t Lists Pika as Endangered Species, Blames Climate Change

Meaning that Pikachu from Pokemon is the last of its kind.

CNS:  Same-Sex Marriage Not a Priority for House Democrats, Pelosi Says

It doesn’t have to be.  They’ve got the judiciary doing it for them.

CNS:  ‘Gay Day’ Bill Passes California Senate Committee

In contrast, San Francisco’s heterosexuals are pushing “straight day,” the one day out of 365 they can publicly celebrate their orientation.

CNS:  Obama Is Welcome to Attend National Catholic Prayer Breakfast

Don’t think he’s going.

CNS:  Obama’s National Day of Prayer Proclamation Mentions God Only Once

I’m glad to hear that he’s easing away from the narcissism.

CNS:  Congressmen to Introduce Bill Recognizing Nation’s Judeo-Christian Heritage

You’re not getting the President’s signature unless you throw Islam in.

CNS:  Conservatives in Congress Split on ‘American Idol’ vs. PBS

So, that’s what conservatism has come down to?

CNS:  Gingrich, Bloomberg, Sharpton Call Education Reform ‘Civil Rights Issue of 21st Century’

It’ll work out as well as the Civil Rights Issues of the 20th Century.

CNS:  Worst Fiscal Year for Toyota

Then again, they could be GM.

Jihad Watch:  Taliban to Pope Benedict XVI: Stop Christian evangelism, or else

Or else we’ll sick Obama on you.

NPI:  As Illegal Immigrants Rally in London to Demand Their Right to Break British Law, New Report Reveals £1 Trillion Cost of Amnesty

And that’s a trillion of a currency that’s actually worth something.

USNAWR:  Los Angeles Looks at Firing Teachers

No don’t.  If you start firing incompetent NEA members, imagine the precedent it’ll set.

AP:  FDA: Kids at risk from testosterone gel

On the other hand, when you’re 12-year old can bench press 300 and nobody stops him every time he gets the football, you might not see it as much of a risk.

AP:  Top flu expert warns of a swine flu-bird flu mix

Oh if only this news came two months ago.  Imagine the Made-For-TV movie ABC could have made for sweeps week.

AFP:  Doh! Simpsons get ‘stamp’ of approval

Cartoon characters get a stamp.  German Americans are still waiting on a stamp, even as half of America’s whites have at least one German-American grandparent.

Reuters:  Officials order man to pay 50-cent debt

If he doesn’t pay, he’ll have to work it off with a five-minute jail sentence.

She Said It

“Everyone should have a chief of staff and a set of personal assistants…“

(H/T Drudge)

I always thought Rahm Emmanuel had a whiney voice like the red one.

Terror Wins War on Terror

TERRORABAD, Terroristan  (FNN)  –  Leaders from twenty-five allied countries, lead by the United States, signed an agreement of surrender today, effectively signaling the victory of Terror in the War on Terror.

The agreement, signed on the aircraft carrier TSS Ramsi Yousef, means that all surrendering countries must agree to Terroristani-sponsored weapons inspections, and therefore must remove any WMDs they possess.  Signatories agreed to convert their countries’ respective legal codes to Shari’a with all due haste.  All women must be in hijabs or burquas by Ramadan, surrendering countries also agreeing to adopt the Islamic luni-solar caldendar.

Among other terms of surrender are that the military leaders of the twenty-five countries facing war crimes trials in Terrorabad, and those countries giving enough bronze and artisans to the government of Terroristan so that they construct a 50-foot statue of former U.S. Assistant Attorney General Jamie Gorelick in the center of Terrorabad Town Square.

***

Second Life Debuts New Functionality

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif.  (FNN)  –  Linden Labs, Inc., the owner of the popular internet game Second Life, has rolled out new functionality today.

The new service, called “First Life,” will allow Second Life avatars to create and guide the life of a living, breathing, corporeal human being in the real world.  Among other things, First Life humans will be able to grow, develop, become educated, fall in love, take many interesting jobs, travel to many interesting locations in the First Life real world.  They may also start wars, provoke genocide, stand trial for war crimes, and eat school lunch cafteria mystery meat.

The First Life service had been in beta since August of last year.  It was scheduled to go gold in January, but a showstopping bug delayed the final release, as too many beta testing avatars were creating First Life real human beings that were committing suicide after questioning the purpose of life itself.

Fourteen and Homeless

AFP:

WASHINGTON (AFP) – The groom wore a black tuxedo, a damask-rose pink waistcoat and tie, and an ear-to-ear smile.

He picked out his wedding outfit at a mall in Virginia — his first time ever in one of the sprawling shopping centers that are monuments to consumerism in the suburban landscape across the United States.

During his 14 years living homeless on the streets of Washington, Dante White, 28, never realized that so much opulence existed. Nor had he had much luck in love in his life, having been thrown out of his mother’s home when he was just 14.

Why did his mother kick him out when he was 14?  Was he particularly naughty or criminal?

I don’t think so.  About three years ago, the answer to this question bubbled up to the surface in suburban St. Louis.  If you don’t want to follow that link, then I’ll give you a hint:  Mama had a new “boo,” and he didn’t want any potential challenges to his being the head of the household, and forced mama’s hand.  Mama picked boo over teenage son.