Hot Times, Summer in the City

WBBM-CBS-2 Chicagograd:  Six Men Shot Dead In 24 Hours In Chicago

Sounds to me like Chicago’s thugs wasted 18 perfectly good hours.

AP:  AP source: Guard to seek volunteers for border

Unlike the real border volunteers, the Obama Border Brownshirts will hand pamphlets to our new illegal arrivals to teach them how to say “me immigrant you racist I sue ACLU.”

Arch City Chronicle:  Palin trashed by members of McCain’s campaign team in Vanity Fair

And you wonder why he lost.  With Repugnicans like that, who needs the Democrats?

CNS:  Ford Analyst Says June May Be Best Month for ’09

Of course, Ford is the only American car company not yet Obama-owned.

Alex Jones:  Bernanke Threatens Economic Collapse If Fed Audited

Correction:  Bernanke threatens to collapse the economy because Ron Paul showed him up.

NPI:  Anarchists worked with terrorists

Again with the redundancy.

P-D:  Local teens get a chance to demonstrate their texting and driving skills

Hopefully not at the same time.

Slashdot:  13-Year-Old Trades iPod For a Walkman For a Week

I don’t know which was more shocking to the boy:  That there is such thing as audio media that moves, or that the implication of listening to music through headphones is that you should walk.

WSIL:  Praying to Save Social Services

While you’re on the line to God, ask Him for a good economy with good jobs so that people don’t need as much social services.

AFP:  The daily grind: Sex for a week boosts sperm quality

“Yes, dear, we gotta fuck again tonight.  You’re interested in my sperm health, aren’t you?”

Reuters:  In U.S. scandals, wives don’t stand by their men

There was one notable exception.  She didn’t have much problem with her husband standing in front of his kneeled-down intern.

Financial Times:  Insight: Protectionism comes knocking

For pete’s sake, open the door!

AP:  Wall-to-wall media coverage of Jackson receding

And while you were inundated with Michael Jackson coverage, the U.S. House voted to fuck you up the ass with “cap and tax,” Senate Democrats want you to wait 15 years to get your toothache taken care of, and President Obama sent the message that his leaving the White House in 2013 or 2017 won’t be so peaceful.

“To Improve the Community”

Oakland, Calif.’s semi-legal weed dealers want to pay more taxes, and are asking for a ballot referendum to do so, because:

“We’re basically trying to say that we are like other businesses, you know. We’re here to pay taxes, create jobs and improve the community,” Lee says.

That’s the first thing that I think of when I think about a hallucinogenic, carcinogenic and psychosis-inducing substance, improving the community.

ACLU: Accost More 80-Year Old White Grandmothers; They’re the Real Terrorists and Illegal Aliens

Deja le meme chose.

I’m Thinking of a Word That Is a Portmanteau of “White” and a Certain Racial Pejorative That Starts With “N”

Seems to me that it applies aptly to a Johnston City, Ill. couple.

WSIL:

Deadly Dog Attack Called a “Tragic Accident”

JOHNSTON CITY– Investigators say the family of a toddler– killed in a dog attack– will not face any criminal charges.

The death of 3 year-old Gabrial Mandrell has been ruled an accident.

Around 8:00 Saturday night, dispatchers in Williamson County received a distressed call regarding the toddler.

Family members had found Gabrial outside his home on Willow Pond Road in Johnston City, and the child was in serious condition.

(snip)

Less than an hour later, Gabrial was pronounced dead.

Investigators say Gabrial had been sleeping at his home, then woke up, pushed out the screen in his bedroom window, and crawled outside.

It was there he was apparently attacked by the family’s three dogs.

The animals– a collie mix and two pitbull mixes– were taken from the home. They were brought to the Williamson County Animal Control facility. It’s not clear what will happen to the dogs.

What the fuck is a “white” family with a toddler doing with two pit bulls?  Meth dealers, are we?  Sounds to me like Johnston City’s Finest didn’t do enough investigation.

The collie mix wouldn’t have participated in the mauling all by itself.  I happen to think that one of the two pit bulls was the alpha dog in that household, and in a pack, lower dogs take on the demeanor of the alpha dog.

Note to Southern Illinois Cab Drivers: If You Get a Service Call In the Middle of a Weekend Night From the Black Part of Carbondale, You’re Probably Going to Get Robbed

Three black men, with apparent ages of 15 to 21, evidently did not get the message that the election of Barack H. Obama II as President meant that it was time to put down the guns and pick up the chemistry textbooks.