South Florida Holds Championship Parade

July 12, 2010

SOUTH MIAMI BEACH, Fla. (FNN) — The City of Miami and other South Florida municipalities held an advance championship parade for the Miami heat on Monday.  The parade, which took place along various streets in South Beach, is one that the National League of Cities describes as “audacious,” and various NBA general managers denounce as “arrogant,” but one which might save municipal governments in and the county government of Miami-Dade County money in the long run.

“You see, we’re expecting a severe hike in the cost of police and fire overtime in the next year,” said Tomás Regalado, Mayor of Miami.  “We might as well get the parade in now, while it’s still relatively inexpensive to have a sports championship parade.  Plus, the parade route goes right by Matt Drudge’s high rise condo, so it’s like instant publicity that even the Washington Post will take notice of.”

When asked if holding an advance championship parade was a wise move, Heat GM Pat Riley said, “Yeah, maybe.  But, c’mon.  Wade, LeBron, Bosh plus nine other scrubs you can pick up off the shirts-and-skins leagues along Biscayne Boulevard.  How doesn’t that win the title next year?”  Fake News Network further pressed Riley on how the reigning champions, the Los Angeles Lakers, would be motivated for next season upon hearing about the Heat and South Floridians celebrating the 2011 NBA Championship in advance.  “You see, I was their coach for a lot of years.  And I’ve done my homework when it comes to Los Angeles and the Lakers.  My intel is rock solid.  Believe me, Phil Jackson is an abusive tyrant, but his regime’s hold on power isn’t as strong as it seems — When we go into Staples Center for our first regular season game versus the Lakers this coming season, their fans will greet us as liberators.”

Small forward LeBron James thanked the crowd for cheering on the team for the championship it has not yet won.  “Oh yeah, we’re going for a repeat.  I wanna be right here really soon in another parade to celebrate our second consecutive unearned title.”  Power forward Chris Bosh broke out in rap lyrics to the team’s fight song, “Heat beez da shiznit, beyotch.”  For his part, shooting guard Dwayne Wade didn’t speak to the crowd, although he was seen on his parade float, which bore the “Mission Accomplished” banner, engaged in a tug of war with a woman dressed in a mental hospital gown, with Wade’s two children stuck in between them.

While condemnation has been near-universal from across the Association, the most unusual reaction came from Dan Gilbert, majority owner of James’s former team, the Cleveland Cavaliers.  In a hastily-written statement to NBA.com on Thursday after James signed with the Heat, Gilbert promised that the Cavaliers would win a championship before James.  In a full-page letter in today’s Cleveland Plain Dealer, Gilbert apologized to the city and citizens of Cleveland and northeastern Ohio for not celebrating their championship in advance before James and the Heat did.  “Imagine what a parade-in-advance in Cleveland could have looked like,” an unnamed Gilbert aide told FNN.  “We could have set the Cuyahoga River on fire.”

President Obama will meet with the champions-in-advance at a White House ceremony on July 29, sandwiched between his regularly scheduled golf games, Chief-of-Staff Rahm Emanuel has confirmed.  A source close to David Axelrod has stated that the President will laud the champions in spite of their not actually having won, because “David wants the photo with Obama holding a Heat jersey with his name on it, anything that’ll get the Jews in Florida back on his side.  Florida is an absolute must-win for 2012.”

High Hoes, Silver

5:  Urban cowboys setting an example for north St. Louis kids

If it doesn’t work, expect a rash of ride-by shootings soon.

P-D:  Six staph infections reported at Eureka High School

See, I told them this kind of thing would happen when they put in that stripper pole.

P-D:  Former Mayor Bill Abram bragged that Bridgeton was ‘No. 1′

Yet St. Louis City and County treated it like ‘No. 2′

P-D:  DC man steals Metrobus, crashes into tree

A whole bus can certainly take a lot of people to and from a lot of drug parties.

Daily Mail:  Education Secretary Gove scrapped £40k bonus of quango boss blamed for schools fiasco

Nothing really, just wanted to read “Quango.”

Telegraph:  Raoul Moat: ‘I’ve no dad, no one cares about me’

Pretty much the same here, so that obviously means I have to right to murder a dozen people.

Daily Mail:  Mangled bodies plucked from the rubble, a city razed to the ground and 1.2m in refugee camps: Six months after the earthquake, has anything changed in Haiti?

The better question is this:  Did the earthquake really change anything?  Except to pick the pockets of the world’s white people.

Sunday Wrap-Up

*  Official Britain has cameras up everywhere, purportedly to stop crime and terrorism.  But it’s somehow controversial when retirees point cameras out their windows and hook the feeds up to the interwebs?  Yes it is, because it’s really hard to censor the latter; people might start to get the idea that Britain’s diversity isn’t its strength.  Note the part about Somalian and Afro-Caribbean street gangs bing-banging each other for dope territory.

*  Obama wants more PTSD and mental health care for vets.  Translation:  He wants more vets declared legally insane using whatever pretense the quacks known as psychiatrists can cook up, so that they legally can’t own guns.

*  Did you know?  Housing and employment discrimination against transsexual and transgendered individuals in St. Louis City is at such a crisis proportion, and indeed is the city’s most vexing problem, that the Board of Aldermen and Mayor had no choice but to act, and do it as quickly as possible.

*  Man, I tell you, the ingratitude of some people.  These Somalians emigrate to Britain out of the niceness of their hearts, providing London with some much-needed and long-overdue diversity, and how does Britain reward them?  By only giving them a rent-free apartment on a “poor” part of the city.  Thankfully, they’ve been moved to a £2.1million house in a more upscale suburb on the taxpayers dime, and one can only hope this partially makes up for the trauma of them being subjected to so much humiliating racism.

*  Disgraceland, Part II.

It is said here that there will be plenty of room for grandchildren.  That must mean that Ugly Betty and that obviously blind fool that’s marrying her are planning on procreating.  Ugh.

It’s also said that they’re plenty of room for Secret Service.  Except Clinton is the first ex-Prez that only gets 10 years post-Presidency.  So his SS protection ends on January 20, 2011.  And I don’t think Secretaries of State get SS protection.  I guess the President can extend it by fiat, but I don’t know.

*  The Coffee Parties flopped, so the left wingers are trying a new TPM counter called One Nation.

Oops.

*  We could have told you that money spent to “bridge the digital divide” was going to be a waste.  But we couldn’t have predicted that low-income children of junior high school or middle school age provided interweb-connected computers in their homes where there was none before would tend to do less well in school than they otherwise would have, as the computer merely provided another toy with which to goof off.

This Weekend’s 48th State Stack of Stuff

*  I so wanted to be a fly on this wall.

*  A good comment to AR a few days ago:

The Constitution DOES NOT prohibit the states from regulating immigration or even naturalization.

Facts that nobody seems to bring up, but should to use in Arizona’s defense of it state sovereignty.

1. In no place in the constitution does Congress (i.e. Federal Gov’t) have exclusive control over naturalization and immigration. Congress does have the power in Article I, Section 8, Clause 4, to “establish a uniform rule of naturalization,” but this power is not denied to the states in Article I, Section X. As a result the 10th Amendment then gives the states the power to regulate foreign immigration and naturalization.

2. Up until the 1890s the states actually regulated foreign immigration. Entry ports like Castle Garden in New York were actually regulated by the state of NY and not the federal gov’t. States could and did deny entry to foreigners.

3. Also, the Constitution only protects citizens moving from one state to another, found in Article 4, Section 2, Clause 1. However, the Constitution clearly does not afford non-citizens the same protections. A state can actually forbid non-citizens from entering their state. Before the Civil War several states actually prohibited certain non-citizens residency.

The federal government has already ceded this power in fact because it has allowed several cities to establish sanctuary provisions or non-enforcement of federal immigration law. Under what justification then could states be prohibited from enforcing the federal immigration law.  The power has already been given up by the federal government.

Of course the federal government will claim federal law is supreme, but that is a matter for debate and has been since Madison and Jefferson stated that the states have the power to check the power of the federal government through nullification.

Is the federal government willing to wage war on Arizona if the people of Arizona decide to nullify federal immigration laws?

Anyone need to challenge the facts or legal reasoning here?  The only legal thing which might make the legal reasoning here not true is that the Feds explicitly removed immigration from state jurisdiction a number of decades ago, i.e. there cannot be concurrent Federal and state immigration laws.  However, SB 1070 doesn’t create concurrent state immigration laws; any actual enforcement is still up to the Feds and ICE (which is of course the weak link).

*  Speaking of the AZLDF, a disproportionate percentage of the money coming into it is coming from New York State.  I’m waiting for the first moron New York City politician, in pursuit of first prize at the Peggy West Geography Bee, to bash his or her own state’s people for doing this, by saying that New York isn’t on a border.

*  Hopefully, a lot of money is coming from Massachusetts, too.

*  Arizona, be warned:  You better not let all those illegal Swedes and Norwegians go free.

Gave In To The YouTube Parodies

Bought it, got it, watched it this weekend.

The most ironic part about the movie was when Hitler was in the bunker, complaining about the “decadence of western democracies.”  Thirty feet above his head, some of his high ranking military officers, Nazi Party officials and various connected women were drinking, drugging it up, stripping and fucking like there was no tomorrow, which there really wasn’t, all in the obvious presence of young children from the HYC and teenage and pre-teen boys who were the last new recruits in the German Army.

The most factually incorrect part was about how easily German women were able to slither by the marching Russian occupiers.  In truth, Russian soldiers raped two million German women within the parts of pre-Hitler German borders (not counting German-occupied parts of Eastern Germany) that they were able to capture.

Now, consider those royalties that the IP rights holder to Downfall will now get because I bought the DVD.  It’s money they wouldn’t have had if all those YT parodies, which they demanded be purged from YT a few months ago (but many more are back), never existed.

Your Bill

You, St. Louis City homeowner, are about to start paying $11 a month for trash service, and you have been paying an extra half cent sales tax for more cops and updated PD equipment and accouterments since February 2008.  On top of that, the quarter-cent sales tax for transit started at the beginning of this month; It was passed in 1997 but finally got to be implemented when the County voters approved its own half-cent tax earlier this year.

Funds from the aforementioned half-cent sales tax that are supposed to be going to the cops and other crime prevention programs (read: pork barrels) will instead go to Parks and Rec, so that city residents 18 and under no longer have to pony up the Alexander Hamilton per moon fee to use the city’s rec centers and swimming pools.

<Church Lady> Isn’t that special? </CL>

UPDATE 7/14: Pray tell, what about the rec center sales tax that Slay told us we just had to pass?  Can’t some of that money be used to eliminate this fee, instead of police money?

F.C. Thug

Like watching a University of Miami (American) football game from ca. 1987.

Strangely enough, the Dutch had two blacks and one mulatto on their team, and Spain had none.

Holland.  Tee hee.

The Future of Sprinting Is So White, We’ve Gotta Wear Shades

Because I’m a regular reader of AR and Caste Football, I’ve been somewhat following Christophe Lemaitre’s career for a little while.  I haven’t talked about him, because the professionals there have said everything that really needed to be said.  A reader of mine from my new home town finally piqued my interest enough.

On Friday, he became the first man of non-west African descent, and by definition the first white man, to break 10 seconds in the 100, at the French track and field championships.

This is purely an amateur observation on my part, and is probably subject to correction.  But I have noticed that in the universe of elite 100m sprinters on the international level, blacks (i.e. west Africans, either from Africa or their diaspora in Europe or North America) turn in their best career times in the 20-25 age range.  The few whites that are credible in that universe peak in the 25-30 age range.

Lemaitre turned 20 last month, so he will be 22 for London, 26 for Rio and 30 for wherever the 2020 Summer Games will be held.  While he has a credible shot to do well enough in the 100 in London to make the finals in that discipline, he’ll be 22, not yet in his peak (if my amateurish racial generalities hold), competing against a lot of blacks in their prime.  So I doubt he can medal in London.  However, in Rio and in 2020, he’ll be in his prime competing against younger blacks in their prime — Don’t be surprised if he becomes the first white man in a very long time to earn a 100m medal at one of those two Games.

BTW, Usain Bolt?  Roiding.  Mark me.