Some observations about last night’s LeBronathon:
* Several years ago, LeBron gave the responsibility for his personal brand, everything except contract and endorsement negotiation and personal accounting, to a former high school teammate. I think he’s regretting that now.
* Still, even if you want to assume that this man, whose name escapes me, is the worst PR guy/marketer/crisis mangler in the history of the world, some of the fuck-ups from last night and this past week have been so fundamental that LeBron himself should have known better. I mean, telling the world on ESPN that you called the winner but made no call to the five other teams, so you assume that only the winner knows? You just told the five other teams that they weren’t the winner, which they were instantly able to infer because they didn’t get a call. And he should know by himself that it’s the courteous thing to do to call all his suitors with either yes or no.
* ESPN is a billion-dollar subsidiary of a multi-billion dollar corporation (Disney). They just don’t give anyone a free hour. ESPN was in on this.
* That said, why was there no dry run?
* I appreciate Dan Gilbert’s loyalty to Cleveland, but the Cavs aren’t winning a championship, ever. And why can’t he apply that same level of loyalty to his own race in his own city, state and country? Quicken Loans is big into H-1B.
* Question for Gilbert: If LeBron is such a “quitter” in the playoffs (which he might have been), then why did you want him back so badly, making him an offer that was significantly more than the five other teams pursuing him? (See below). UPDATE: Another question for Gilbert: If you’re so mad at LeBron, then why did you approve the sign-and-trade with the Heat? (Repeating for those needing, LeBron was a free agent, and could have signed directly with the Heat. But technically speaking, the Cavs signed LeBron then traded him to the Heat for future draft picks. That was a favor from Cleveland to Miami because it cleared some of Miami’s future salary cap space so they can get decent pieces around James/Wade/Bosh. Too, Chris Bosh was technically a sign-and-trade with the Toronto Raptors, even though Bosh was also an unrestricted free agent.)
* Mark me: Gilbert will have the Cavs dole out two numbers next season out of pure spite: 23 and 6. And they’ll give them to bench-warming scrubs.
* I don’t blame Cavs fans for burning their LeBron jerseys. After all, nobody will wear them ever again, and they’re worthless on the open market, so the only thing they’re good for is increasing your carbon footprint.
* CW states that, in contrast to about five to seven years ago, Kobe is now a better brand than LeBron. Pardon me, but while LeBron is narcissistic, arrogant, insouciant and boring, he is not a rapist.
* One thing I will grant LeBron, and also Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade: For them, it’s not about the money. It is financially impossible for all three to have max deals, (by definition, a max deal is one-third of the team’s alloted salary cap, so three max players would take up 100% of the cap, which is $58 million this coming season), so each will have to take a little less than max so that the Heat can have more than three players. UPDATE: Each man will make $2 million a year less than a max deal.
* UPDATE 7/10: And no, I wasn’t buying the bullshit that he decided on Miami the morning before the hour-long stooperfest on ESPN. (Evidently, nobody in Cleveland bought it, either.) Proof is that within hours of the “official” announcement, 13,000 licensed Miami Heat #6 James jerseys went on sale. I don’t know anything about the garment business, but I’m just guessing that it takes a week to make 13,000 official licensed jerseys, and then another week to ship them from China to the United States.
* Unrelated, but yesterday seemed to be a big day for decisions: LeBron, Johannes Mesherle, Gay Marriage on the Federal level, Drilling moratorium reversal upheld on the Federal Appellate level, and there could have been a Cali Supreme Court ruling on Gay Marriage last night, but that was delayed. We must be passing through some odd section of the space-time continuum. I can tell, because people in Oakland and Cleveland are rioting for two drastically different reasons LOL.