* Richard Daley is on his way out. If you happen to be inclined to mourn over his retirement, because “it could be worse,” (by Chicago standards), then read this, and read it carefully.
* Chicago’s probable next Mayor wants a tax on “luxury” gyms. I wonder how they’re going to define a “luxury” gym. I’m guessing that the standard will be whether the locker rooms are carpeted or not, whether the towels in the gym’s towel service have a certain thread count, or whether the treadmills have a built-in web browser or you just have to make do with just a TV tuner.
* ATF Scandal. The official excuse is that they were kinda sorta drinking deuterium water. However, I think the real reason is that they’re deliberately trying to inflate the relatively low statistic of “American” guns used in Mexican crimes, on orders from Obama.
* Cry me a Mississippi River, cry me a river…
* While Ann Coulter is still appointment reading, I have to admit sadly that she has lost a lot of her snarky edge. On top of that, she must be temporarily sitting on her brains, because she’s on the Chris Christie bandwagon.
* It took me five minutes after the fact to come to this conclusion. Yet, they keep saying that our diversity is our strength.
* Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
* H/T Diane Meyer. This Chicagoland politician is probably introducing this bill at the behest of the IEA/NEA, so what I’m about to say is probably not germane to the debate here. But I can think of one reason and one reason ONLY to support such a bill — In a few districts, mainly centered in the state of Texas, and largely black or Hispanic districts, the school district administrators are concealing the high school dropout rate behind “home schooling,” i.e. claiming that dropouts are being home schooled, when most are not. Legislation like this that does no more than this and where the NEA is nowhere near the enforcement mechanisms could unmask this kind of statistical perfidy.
* If I’m AQ, I’m really shaking in my boots over the prospects of fighting a salad-fueled soldier whose grub is color-coded.
* “Fought white flight.” But not segregation. Delmar Boulevard might as well be a Berlin Wall in U-City.
* If this turns out the way I want, then it will be great for two reasons: (1) The Mets will suck for decades, and (2) Ergo, Bruce Jacobs will bitch a fit for decades.
* A nickel’s worth of free advice, Mr. Gatewood: Cherish the brief time you have left with your shirts. Because if you’re going to get into the Old Spice hustle, you better get used to a life without them.
* Whaddaya know. I move back to St. Louis, and just like magic, it becomes the worst city for men in the country. It’s almost as if I’m dragging down the curve.
* You’d think that recessionary times would be fairly good ones for “inferior” (in economic terms, not in moral judgment terms) retailers like Wal*Mart. Alas, no — Its current management seems to be reading everything Sam Walton did then doing just the opposite.
* Why Britain is running a big deficit, even bigger than ours in terms of relation to government spending and the national GDP — Spending tens of thousands of £s over someone using the term “jungle drums.”
And some headlines.
Ben Maller: Tiger Woods scared away ex-wife’s new boyfriend
He’s about the last man on Earth scared of Tiger Woods. None on the PGA tour are scared of him anymore.
Knoxville News-Sentinel: Ready, aim, file! Accountant gives refund gift cards to use at gun shop
Now, if someone buys a gun with such a gift card, and comes at you asking for your tax deduction or your life, the irony will be duly noted in this space.
Daily Mail: You don’t have to be a genius to become a scientist: Professor Brian Cox backs The Big Bang career path
A bright enough parrot that can say “global warming” over and over again can serve that role.
Daily Mail: Adult only flights: Airlines urged to spare passengers from noisy children
If you ask me, the apple falleth not far from the tree. Would you want to be a flight attendant on a flight whose only passengers are the kind of obnoxious self-absorbed narcissist know-it-all so-called “adults” who raise noisy brats?
Politico: Donna Karan: Look beyond what Michelle Obama wears
That probably means she’s not wearing DKNY.
NYP: Minnesota fishermen catch scuba diver
Thereby bringing truth in advertising to being fishermen — Fishing for men.
Daily Mail: ‘Mexico doesn’t have an Olympic team… because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border': Clarkson hits out AGAIN
Seen the weather lately? They’ll also have to start skiing across the border, thereby ruining Mexico’s chances of fielding a cross-country ski team for the 2014 games in Sochi.
P-D: Report: Some KC police officers shun seatbelts
You knew this particular element of natural selection would present itself in Kansas City. Kansas City, tee hee.
Daily Mail: Nantucket: Quaint US East Coast island is magnet for rich and famous
Not to mention the inspiration for every vagina joke around.
Daily Mail: Seven-year-old charged after bringing toy ‘Nerf’ gun to [NJ] school
He’s in big trouble. You’ve gotta be at least 18 to have a toy nerf gun in New Jersey. Mature audiences only.
P-D: Analysis: Mo. wrestles with federal school money
Who won? I bet the money got DQed for not trimming its fingernails.
Daily Mail: Rikers inmate ‘ran credit card scam behind bars to buy more than $1million in iPads and Apple computers’
Just call it Rikers iLand.