INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. (FNN) – The National Collegiate Athletics Association has opened an investigation of every one of its 1,281 schools, leagues and associations which comprise its membership.
Mark A. Emmert, current President of the NCAA, announced the mass investigation at a press conference today at the NCAA’s Indianapolis headquarters.
“From information we have received, cheating and rules violations are so rampant and seemingly so widespread that we had no choice but to investigate everyone,” Emmert said. “We need to find out who isn’t cheating. We’ve got to catch them pale-handed.”
Emmert announced the formation of a blue ribbon panel, headed by former NCAA President Myles Brand, one that both men hoped would cast such a wide dragnet that it would fail to catch all the clean programs. “If you’re following the rules, make no mistake about it — You can hide, but you can’t run. We will find you, and expose your rectitude for the whole world to see. We’ll know whose hands aren’t in the cookie jar.”
Any school that is caught following all the rules faces a possible punishment of having a horrible athletic program for the next ten years.
