Old Times There are 60% Forgotten (Today’s Headlines)

16 04 2011

Daily Mail:  Poll reveals 4 in 10 Southerners still side with the Confederacy

Of the six that don’t, three are black, one just moved from Boston to Raleigh, one is Morris Dees, and one mumbled something in Spanish.

5:  Kobe Bryant gets technical, yells homophobic slur at ref

This is really going to ruin his legacy.  (Note the fine print in the smallest possible font about his raping a young white woman.)

San Francisco Business Journal:  Marijuana causes global warming, uses 1% of U.S. electricity

Just sit back and watch liberals’ brains everywhere blue screen.

NYP:  Man bursts into flames at San Francisco porn shop

Maybe the fire started in his loins and just spread everywhere else.

Daily Mail:  Trump: I have a great relationship with blacks

He’s been on TV shows with them, and even picked one as his season winner of The Apprentice.  That only leaves about 39,999,997 left to meet.

AFP:  Republicans will make US ‘Third World’ nation: Obama

“No no no, that’s not what I meant.  They’re just not doing it fast enough.”

BBC:  Frustrated Justin Bieber ‘pulled into’ Israel politics

Pulled?  Who’s the fucking dingleberry moron who wanted his opinion?

5:  Augusta Winery’s new site across from church proves controversial

Wine was on the menu at The Last Supper.  That’s all I can say, really.

Ben Maller:  SEC coach says some players drink beer all summer

They’re obviously so much better than regular college students, who drink beer all summer, plus fall, winter and spring.

Daily Mail:  New legal papers paint Michael Bloomberg as sarcastic, patronising and unsympathetic

He almost sounds like he could be related to me.

CNN:  TSA security looks at people who complain about … TSA security

Muslims with one-way transcontinental tickets who recently got back from Karachi?  Wouldn’t want to discriminate against them — They have rights.

Detroit Free Press:  Carol Cain: Prostitution, pot legalization could make Detroit attractive, Fieger says

Weed and prostitution have really worked out to Detroit’s benefit so far!

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