The New Manager of the Boston Red Sox Is…

11 02 2012

Ron Paul.

He was a pretty good baseball player in his younger days, so it should surprise nobody that he follows up his political career by managing in the major leagues.





Fun With Saturday Headlines

11 02 2012

My Fox LA:  Student Finds Lost Malcolm X Speech

It should have stayed lost.

Smoking Gun:  Iowa Police Seek Public’s Help In Armed Robbery Of $250 “Mega Masturbator”

They spelled “Pubic” wrong.

WJZ-CBS-13 Baltimore:  Maryland Mall Evacuated & Locked Down After Sneaker Fight

Did you know?  Not rioting when you can’t get the shoes you want is a form of racism.

KCAL-CBS-2 L.A.:  LAPD Pioneers High-Tech Crime-Fighting ‘War Room’

Yes, those cameras will be able to tell a football and frisbee from a volleyball and beach ball.

Fox News:  Tribe suing beer companies for alcohol problems

Oh, they don’t mean “that” tribe.  I was confused there for a minute.

LAT:  McDonald’s hamburgers lure naked man off downtown tower

Only to be upset when he found out that, at least for a little while, McDs still has the NSNSNS thing going.  But with McDs going 365Ghetto, NSNSNS will soon be racist and racial profiling.

Reuters:  NYC agrees ex-Marine is a man, ending 5-year battle

Seriously.  Five years to figure out what most people can discern in five seconds?

Missouri News Horizon:  St. Joseph students lobby to make the jumping jack Missouri’s state exercise

Uh, hello?  Jumping jacks are warm-ups, not exercises.

5:  NBC Reality Show ‘The One’ holds casting call in St. Louis

John and Cindy McCain’s A-B beer distributorship will sponsor an alternate reality show called ‘That One,’ with a casting call to be held in the subprime warehouse district of Phoenix.

Weekly Standard:  German Bank Offers ‘Islam-Compliant’ Investment

Shari’ah-compliant interest free loans to finance the construction, assembly and engineering of suicide bombs.

WNDU-NBC-16 South Bend, Ind.:  Burglar vacuumed home, folded laundry and cooked dinner

Burglar my apartment, please!





Saturday Wrap-Up

11 02 2012

LOCAL AND REGIONAL

Shorpy does St. Louis, again.  Where was this?  It says it’s on the riverfront, but there are also railroad tracks between the grain elevator and the river.  Today, the only part of the city where the railroad tracks run along the river on the Missouri side are from Downtown south to about the Patch neighborhood.  So I’m guessing this grain elevator was somewhere on the South Side.  Maybe back in ’39, tracks ran parallel to the river on the North Side as well, but there are none today.

Illinois is going to adjust its gas taxes strategically so that stations in Illinois that are close to a state line are competitive with the prices across the line in the other state.  This is largely a mechanism to prevent people in the Metro East from buying their gas across the river in 15 cent a gallon cheaper Missouri.

If you live in Chestnut, Illinois, the town near the geographic center of the state?  Well, then, you’re shit outta luck.  High gas prices for you, sucka!

*  Botanical Heights is the neighborhood that used to be called McRee Town.

The residents found out that it’s going to take a little more than a name change to make things all better.

NATIONAL

*  Newt calls Obama the Food Stamp President.  What would he call the SPLC?

*  SCOTUS Justice Ruth Buzzi Ginsburg goes on her rant in Egypt about the American Constitution not being a good model for its new Shari’ah Law Muslim Brotherhood government to use.  (Did you actually think they were actually considering using a document which calls for the non-establishment of religion as a model for their own constitution?)  Now, as if this were a timed assault, the NYT joins the chorus, highlighting a study whose co-author is at Wash. U. Law, ironically named Law.

Why should most of the world care about an American style Constitution with is emphasis on, as Barack Obama once called them, “negative liberties?”  (AKA restraining government power).  Even the countries that have adopted American style Constitutions on paper never quite get it right.  The reason most newer constitutions are focused on “positive liberties,” again quoting Obama (aka social welfare) is that most newer constitutions are in heavily non-white countries whose people have the welfare dependent sociology.

Rand Paul defends the Catholic Church in the pages of a magazine that would rather see his father dead than President.

Hey, Rand, remember Mark Levin?

Hardly anyone is asking the fundamental question in this whole debate about Catholic institutions, their health care plans, and birth control/aborticide/contraception.  Why are people assuming that the only way women (or even men) can get those “health care services” is if the health coverage that comes with their job not only covers it, but covers it with no co-pay?  My health plan doesn’t cover condoms, but I have no trouble acquiring them.  (Though, running the risk of TMI, I haven’t needed to use many in recent weeks.)

*  What have I always told you about studies that show red states are worse when it comes to fill-in-the-blank than blue states?

Again, Washington University makes an appearance.

*  What is it with Oriental parents and making their children be naked or nearly naked?  I know that children in early childhood education programs in Japan go to school almost naked.

*  Roland Martin.  Couldn’t have happened to a nicer creep.

Strange thing, though — I don’t interpret his tweets as “homophobic.”  Maybe if he would have said something like “bend it like Beckham” in regards to his underwear, then maybe.

No comment.  Interpret as you will.

Not enough black agents?  Maybe black players need to implement and self-enforce their own Rooney Rule.

Hello, stupid.  Drew Rosenhaus helped these black players get rich.  Is it his fault that his clients have the fiscal discipline of a common slug?  He’s their agent, not their warden.

Yeah, don’t “throw back” too far, otherwise, you might accidentally find out that white men once had racial courage.

Young minorities aren’t as prosperous as old white people.  Because I would have never guessed.

INTERNATIONAL

Fiddy does East Africa.  Buy five of his new energy drink, and 50 Cent donates that much money to feed Africans.

At least it’s not the money the Yankee government takes from me by the implied force of a gun.

Afghanistan is impossible.  It only took us 11 years to figure it out.

The Chinese lie, cheat and steal?  Shocked, I am.

The world’s last living WWI veteran passed away a week ago, just a few weeks short of her 111th birthday.

College math in British universities is too hard.

Idea:  Quit admitting so many unqualified students.

MISC

Photoshop?  Yes.  Truth?  Yes.

Sorry, FAIL.  Now, a real conga line of dogs would be a Leonberger leading a line of Rhodesian Ridgebacks.

Not grokking.  Are you supposed to brush your teeth only while naked in Japan?

*  One could write 10,000 words of social commentary, or one could get it all in a single picture.

I call it the Empire Strikes Back.  These kind of machines lightened my pocket of a lot of coins until I turned 10 and caught wise.

He or she did take the assignment seriously.

Either this means you’ll get clean six times faster, or it’s the necessary implement for a six-way sex orgy in the shower, or it’s what the doctor ordered for one desperate person.








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