My Fox LA: Student Finds Lost Malcolm X Speech
It should have stayed lost.
Smoking Gun: Iowa Police Seek Public’s Help In Armed Robbery Of $250 “Mega Masturbator”
They spelled “Pubic” wrong.
WJZ-CBS-13 Baltimore: Maryland Mall Evacuated & Locked Down After Sneaker Fight
Did you know? Not rioting when you can’t get the shoes you want is a form of racism.
KCAL-CBS-2 L.A.: LAPD Pioneers High-Tech Crime-Fighting ‘War Room’
Yes, those cameras will be able to tell a football and frisbee from a volleyball and beach ball.
Fox News: Tribe suing beer companies for alcohol problems
Oh, they don’t mean “that” tribe. I was confused there for a minute.
LAT: McDonald’s hamburgers lure naked man off downtown tower
Only to be upset when he found out that, at least for a little while, McDs still has the NSNSNS thing going. But with McDs going 365Ghetto, NSNSNS will soon be racist and racial profiling.
Reuters: NYC agrees ex-Marine is a man, ending 5-year battle
Seriously. Five years to figure out what most people can discern in five seconds?
Missouri News Horizon: St. Joseph students lobby to make the jumping jack Missouri’s state exercise
Uh, hello? Jumping jacks are warm-ups, not exercises.
5: NBC Reality Show ‘The One’ holds casting call in St. Louis
John and Cindy McCain’s A-B beer distributorship will sponsor an alternate reality show called ‘That One,’ with a casting call to be held in the subprime warehouse district of Phoenix.
Weekly Standard: German Bank Offers ‘Islam-Compliant’ Investment
Shari’ah-compliant interest free loans to finance the construction, assembly and engineering of suicide bombs.
WNDU-NBC-16 South Bend, Ind.: Burglar vacuumed home, folded laundry and cooked dinner
Burglar my apartment, please!
