LOCAL AND REGIONAL
* Here’s a helpful hint — If you ever must perform community service at a jail, leave your weed at home.
* Just what teenagers hyped up on caffeine need — More and easier caffeine delivery systems.
* This article from the P-D was the first P-D article that I know of that ever received an Instalanche.
* Now that LGBTQMIALOLPLPLTH have their own scouting movement, will they quit complaining about the BSA?
Short answer: No.
* The club’s name is amnesia, and the bullet grazed his head. Life for him might temporarily imitate art.
* Officially, they call it a gang beating, but I call it musical chairs. If not this vic, one of these suspects would be in a pine box today.
* “Dark clothing with green shopping bag.” That sure narrows it down a lot. Who during the Christmas/Kwanzaa shopping season wouldn’t have either a red or green shopping bag?
* Da Cheef is “embattled.” Take one look at him and you’ll probably figure out that was inevitable.
* Channeling The Great Cornholio, Detroit firefighters need TP for their bungholes.
* Good show, NMA.
* The “news” that almost all adults did some sort of shopping at least once during the three days following Thanksgiving isn’t news. It’s the law of averages.
* Good. Them knuckledragging homophobes had it coming. And also, they make you believe in some sort of deity.
* Coming to a suburban Memphis school near you, if the merger happens.
* Warren Buffet’s company owes the Yankee government a gigabuck. If and when he coughs it up, it wouldn’t be enough to pay for a year of Obama entertainment expenses.
* Cover up, kids. The student loan bubble is about to blow big time.
* I don’t blame Obama for not biting. He can’t run around bitching about gun crime then pardon a black gun criminal. Or can he?
* DREAMers, who are said to be so crucial to American economic progress, amazingly can’t afford the unconstitutionally levied $465 application fee for Obama’s unconstitutional executive order amnesty. So Montgomery County, People’s Republic of Maryland’s county treasury will pay it for them.
But there’s a catch — There always is. Because this is the Era of LGBTQMIALOLPLPLTH, all those little macho man Hispanics will have to take showers with women who pretend to be men, in the locker rooms of Montgomery County, People’s Republic of Maryland. Soap it up, amigo — Butch is watching you wash your dick. Not exactly a dream world anymore, is it?
* What, he couldn’t steal the LeBron shoes? Probably not — Those, like gold watches, are kept behind lock and key. Too valuable.
* Surprise — Susan Rice-a-Roni’s undergraduate senior thesis was of Michelle Robinson-“quality.”
* Violence between the mother’s new boyfriend and the mother’s natural son is rarely latter-on-former.
Before you think he has become a Second Amendment afficionado, not so fast. He’s only fuming because of budget cuts meaning cops are being laid off.
Gee, I thought Prop 30 fixed all that.
And if vulnerable people are worried about being raped and catching an STD in the process, they shouldn’t worry about that, either. Because all the porn flicks will now show condom usage, all the potential rapists will strap on the ole latex bag before they rape.
* Yeahbut…it’s Brown, the Ivy school that has the lowest esteem. That’s the excuse they’ll use.
* I can see where the Pentagon was coming from. Mr. Dooley, with his conceited infiidel ass and all, was arrogantly strutting around like we were engaged in some sort of war against Islam. BTW, it’s not a good time to be a man with the last name of Dooley.
* It’s basketball season again, and you know what that means. More young men named “Shaquille” in then news for the wrong reason.
It says here they targeted and stole iCabal products then hawked them on CL to fund a lavish lifestyle. Pardon me, but I thought owning the iCabal products WAS having a lavish lifestyle.
* Usually, these chimpouts are on behalf of the black thug because their sentences are too “harsh.” This one is on behalf of the black vic because the black thug’s sentence was too light.
* This doesn’t show a pic, but on another source, it was a WM/BF marriage.
Huh? Someone pronounce that for me.
* Thanks to Geert Wilders in no small part, no more anti-blasphemy laws in The Netherlands.
Deport the Muslims, and then you’ll have a real country to work with.
* Before news from the football world took a tragic turn, the big news was over the rookie QB for the 49ers and his tattoos. Some people suspicion that there’s a football player hiding somewhere underneath all that ink.