My Wish For 2013

31 12 2012

That we start the year hearing “Justin” and thinking “Bieber,” and end it hearing “Justin” and thinking “who?”

Okay, that won’t happen.  Unless it does.  And it will one of these years.

That the bout of depression I know I’m going to have to deal with soon from the grief of my 2012 turning out so crummy and that the Christmas season, the lights and the carols and the giving of gifts and the family get-together and my new albeit menial job, has allowed me to put off mentally dealing with and processing, won’t be so bad.  But hey, who cares about my problems?

No, my real sincere wish for 2013 is that rationality rallies and makes a comeback, that we all grok a collective ability to recognize purely publicity seeking rhetoric and behavior for what it is, and in earnest we ignore pure shock value nut talk and therefore not encourage it.

Unlinked example of what I hope to have none of by the end of 2013:

• Declare the NRA a terrorist organization and make membership illegal. Hey! We did it to the Communist Party, and the NRA has led to the deaths of more of us than American Commies ever did. (I would also raze the organization’s headquarters, clear the rubble and salt the earth, but that’s optional.) Make ownership of unlicensed assault rifles a felony. If some people refused to give up their guns, that “prying the guns from their cold, dead hands” thing works for me.

• Then I would tie Mitch McConnell and John Boehner, our esteemed Republican leaders, to the back of a Chevy pickup truck and drag them around a parking lot until they saw the light on gun control.

This is from a columnist nobody has ever heard of writing for an MSM outlet in flyover country that only credibly matters to the greater media establishment very early in years divisible by four (that’s all the hint I’ll give you).  That should tell you something about the author’s motivation (publicity) and the paper’s motivation (rolling up the hit counter).  Believe me, this isn’t Jonathan Swift making a modest proposal, because Swift was trying to call attention to and mock the anti-Irish bigotry and insouciance toward Irish issues in early eighteenth century England, while nobody is unaware of the present question of misnamed “gun violence.”

Another example:  There’s an ambulance chaser lawyer who wants the state of Connecticut to repudiate temporarily the doctrine of sovereign immunity so he can sue the state for not providing enough security at Sandy Hook Elementary.  For one it, not happening, because I’m sure the state is teetering on the budgetary brink every year, and another, even if it did, you couldn’t sue anyway because I’m sure the state didn’t assume strict liability for the security of its public school students.  I just presumed that the ambulance chaser was a no-name nobody lawyer looking to make a name for himself and use both Sandy Hook and the media to give him that publicity for when people need to hire a lawyer for car wrecks.  However, come to find out, the lawyer represented the Occutards in New Haven, Connecticut.  Again, why were all the Occutard hovels in already left wing places?

A society that’s smart enough to discern rational rhetoric from pure shock value nut talk for publicity’s sake such that it pays attention to the former and ignores the latter to deter the latter will probably be able to take the next logical step and ignore nutbars who do nutbar infamy-seeking things like shoot up schools and movie theaters, and relegate their identities into a black hole.  Then we’ll really be getting somewhere.

Honorable mentions for my sincere wishes for 2013:  That we quit worshiping the stock market, and that we reset our priorities and recognize Wall Street for what it is, simply a flea market for mostly the long ago issued shares of common stock in larger corporations (some of which technically don’t exist anymore), that the Federal Reserve not live to see its hundredth birthday, that April 15 becomes just another day, that the American Presidency becomes just another elected public office, that Washington, D.C., and New York become mere cities where people live, that all football finally be forced to take a season off for Sandusky penance and penance for all the debauchery we put up with in the name of football, that we recognize Israel as just another country, that we recognize Dixie as a country to begin with, that we get a 2014 model year automobile that doesn’t look like a pregnant roller skate with no trunk space.

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