Ira M. Elegant, Esq., is representing both Shaq and A-Rod in their attempts to untie their knots. Between the two of them, he’s representing probably $500 million worth of professional athletes. He must be that good.
Prior Lake High to disallow hats
Schools say they want to be sure students can be identified on security cameras and want teachers to be able to watch their eyes during tests.
(snip)
Miller said some students wear hats to speak to their identity, such as Twins or Red Sox hats to signify where they’re from, or different colors, such as white, to help show which clique they’re in.
Red Sox hats in Minnesota, another AL city? Now that’s identifying one’s self as a bandwagonner.
Those words, and many other similar words in an improptu video filmed in NYC, is why Maricopa County, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio wants Shaq’s badges.
Good thing for Shaq that he didn’t do anything naughty anywhere near Phoenix, or else he’d be wearing giant pink underwear and habitating inside a tent right about now. Otherwise, the county’s illegal aliens can rest a little easier, because they won’t see a 7-foot-1 325-pound frame coming to deport them anytime soon.
Now Shaq’s only law enforcement career option for his post-NBA years will be the FBI. They’re the only agency left with low enough standards. At least Joe Arpaio has some.
P-D :
OAKVILLE — The street was lined with cars. Someone splashed in the pool. Every now and then a basketball sailed into the street. Noise echoed a block away.
Something was definitely up at the Noblitt home.
Behind a high wooden fence, more than a hundred high schoolers lounged around. Just about everyone held one of those ubiquitous red cups. A teen stood on the deck taking cash from folks as they arrived.
But this was no wild summer keg party. It was actually a charity event. A two-on-two basketball tournament. For children in Africa.
Come again?
Let’s back up. Wednesday’s Second Annual Noblitt Classic was the brainchild of 17-year-old Matt Noblitt and his older sister, Katie. It began when Katie Noblitt, 22, who just finished her senior year at the University of Missouri-Columbia, watched the documentary “Invisible Children,” about child soldiers in Uganda’s decades-old conflict.
(snip)
The proceeds go to the charity Invisible Children, which grew from the documentary’s success. Katie and Matt Noblitt expected this year’s haul to be close to $1,500.
(snip)
Added Jordon Winheim, 17: “It’s summer. I might just be waking up now. Instead, I’m actually doing something.”
The teenagers huddled around a short basketball court, pavement sunk in the yard where grass once was. The hoops were lowered to 8 1/2 feet, so plenty of kids could dunk. Balls flew as shots were blocked.
I wonder if Ugandan child soldiers will feel insulted to know that American teenagers are so patronizing as to lower the basketball hoop by a foot-and-a-half. I noticed that all the young men were wearing shirts — to empathize with Uganda’s poverty, all the games should have been skins vs skins. If there were any black players, were they made to pay an entry fee, or did the do-gooder Nobiltts recognize the centures of slavery and discrimination and let them in for free? When they send their money to Uganda, will they include a letter asking whatever Ugandan warlord will receive the money asking him nicely to use the money for humanitarian purposes and not to hoard it for himself?
P-D :
Peanuts are OUTTA here!
The crowds are fine. The popcorn won’t hurt anyone. But the peanuts and Cracker Jack have kept some fans out of the old ball games.
On Wednesday, though, the River City Rascals offered fans their first peanut-free seating. And on July 21, Section 328 of Busch Stadium will go peanut-free, allowing allergic Cardinals fans to watch a game without worrying that peanuts will cause a reaction.
Wrigley Field will do them both one better, by censoring the third line of that song they sing in the middle of the 7th. Later lines won’t be censored, because Cubs fans are used to losing.
WND:
Subway says ’sorry’ to homeschoolers
In the wake of news coverage about its exclusion of homeschoolers from a student essay contest, the Subway restaurant chain has issued an apology and vows to include students educated at home in its next event.
Last weekend, WND broke the story of the eatery’s discrimination, as the firm made it clear on its website the campaign was not open to homeschoolers.
Written apologies are now being e-mailed to people who contacted the company to complain.
“We at Subway restaurants place a high value on education, regardless of the setting, and have initiated a number of programs and promotions aimed at educating our youth in the areas of health and fitness,” said Subway spokesman Jeremie Roche.
“We sincerely apologize to anyone who feels excluded by our current essay contest. Our intention was to provide an opportunity for traditional schools, many of which we know have trouble affording athletic equipment, to win equipment. Our intent was certainly not to exclude homeschool children from the opportunity to win prizes and benefit from better access to fitness equipment.”
“Provide an opportunity for traditional schools.” Subway just admitted that they banned homeschoolers because they wanted to give public school students a chance to win. It seems like homeschoolers win all the spelling bees, geography bees, and other contests where they are permitted to enter. Like I said in this medium several days ago, who would want Olympic track athletes to participate in an elementary school field day?
By the way, does Subway think that homeschooling families aren’t interested in sports and fitness equipment? If anything, it’s harder for them than school districts to purchase it.
Forget about this. Ain’t happenin’.
Slay’s Ravine is staying for awhile. Though just as I predicted at the beginning of this year (and last) that The Deal would fall through, I added this year that the city will eventually have to do something with it, because the MLB* All-Star Game will be played here in July 2009. Look for city hall to turn this into green space.
We have the usual study/gripe that comes this time each year, after the 65 teams that have been chosen to play for the national championship of college basketball, that schools aren’t doing a good enough job graduating its scholarship athletes. As usual, there is a difference between top-tier and lesser-known programs, and between black and white players.
The study was conducted by the Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport at the University of Central Florida. I find it ironic that a think-tank that wants more racial diversity in sports turns right around and complains about the racial differences in graduation rates. I also find it strange that the State of Florida is spending money to lobby for more racial minorities in sports. What next? The UCF Women’s Suffrage League?
Otherwise, the story hasn’t changed, and neither has my reaction.
P-D:
Lindenwood shooting range irritates farmers
ST. CHARLES COUNTY — An out-of-the-way stretch of Missouri River bottomland eyed by Lindenwood University for a new shooting range isn’t remote enough, say some area farmers.
Worried that the proposed facility would cause noise and road congestion and otherwise spoil the area’s rustic nature, they recently convinced the county Planning and Zoning Commission to oppose the idea. The County Council, however, will have the final say on the issue.
“We don’t want all the commotion and traffic it’s going to entail,” said Cliff Steinmann Sr., whose sons operate his family’s farm nearby. “It’s way out there in the middle of nowhere.”
Lindenwood officials say that’s why they chose the 65-acre site north of Wiedey Road and east of Highway 94, a few miles northeast of the school’s St. Charles campus.
The range would be the home base for the school’s national championship shooting team, which now travels five days a week to practice in Pacific.
You’re telling me that an educational institution has an official shooting team, that uses firearms? Not only that, since they are national champions, this must mean that other schools do, too, and they compete with each other.
Almost four-in-five students at the University of Illinois want to bring him back.
P-D:
Football star-turned-candidate has never voted
As a football star at Mizzou, Brock Olivo led the team to its first bowl game in over a decade. But there is one place that he never reached: the ballot box.
Public records show Olivo, who is now running for Congress, has never voted in an election, in Missouri or elsewhere.
Olivo, a fan favorite when he played for the Tigers from 1994-97, acknowledged Monday that he has not cast a single ballot since becoming eligible more than a dozen years ago.
“I got caught up in the wave of apathy that has affected many of my generation,” Olivo, 31, said. “I’m the first to admit that I was wrong for not voting.”
Olivo, a Republican, launched his bid earlier this month to represent Missouri’s 9th Congressional District, which stretches from Columbia to Lake Saint Louis. He has joined a crowded crop of candidates vying to replace U.S. Rep. Kenny Hulshof, who entered the race for governor after Republican incumbent Matt Blunt’s abrupt decision not to seek a second term.
(snip)
His indifference, Olivo says, stemmed from dissatisfaction with political leaders.
“I was a little frustrated with the constant rhetoric and the broken promises,” he said.
(snip)
Even so, Olivo — one of only a handful of Missouri football players to get his number retired — enters the congressional race with immediate advantages: instant name recognition and an admiring fan base.
How ironic it would be if Olivo lost because all those football fans under 30 were too apathetic about his campaign promises to go out and vote for him.
Whoever Jason Cosby, of Lincoln, Ill., is, he just blew right past me in the anti-black bigotry department. One of the two players that Floyd Irons set up in a north St. Louis apartment after he moved them across the river from Alton, has been suspended from his basketball scholarship at Lincoln College. Mr. Cosby, reacting to this news, said this:
“Who’s that gonna help?” asked Jason Cosby, a town resident and basketball fan. “No one. I’m just saying — punish every step of the process — but not Bobby Hill.
“If you take basketball away,” he asked between swigs, “what’s left?”
Black men are only good for professional or semi-professional basketball? That’s a line I won’t even cross, simply because it’s not true. Actually, most blacks aren’t professional basketball players, much less most people. As for his question, the answer is a lifetime of affirmative action sinecures.
It’s worse than we (and the RFT) thought — he essentially paid the living expenses of two of the Alton, Illinois players he illegally recruited for awhile. The apartment that Irons rented was in a complex owned by a firm that has a former Vashon principal as an officer.
Last night against K-State in Manhattan.
Yeah, right, Mike Anderson. Forty Minutes of Hell. To watch, that is.
Do they even have a single white player on the team?
The odd news that a former player for the St. Louis Rams and couple of season ticket holders are suing the New England Patriots, their owner, and their coach for the “suspicious” Rams loss in the 2002 Super Bowl could inspire a whole drawer of similar suits. How about Jack Clark, Todd Worrell, and Whitey suing umpire Don Denkinger for lost income, rings, bonuses, and endorsements certainly caused by a dumb call in the sixth game of the 1985 World Series?
We are a much too litigious society.
And what’s the name of that political party that the trial lawyers and their lobbies love? Thinks it sounds something like “Demoncat.”
3 Milford Students Charged In Assault On Teammate
MIAMI TOWNSHIP, Ohio — Three freshman basketball players face sex crime charges Monday in a locker room incident.
The Milford High School students, who were not identified because they are juveniles, each were charged with gross sexual imposition after police accused them of assaulting a teammate before practice.
Police said the teens cornered one boy in a room and restrained him while one of the teens exposed himself.
“There’s a certain standard or line that you draw in these events of horseplay, and this line has been crossed in this event,” said Sgt. Al Fatute of Miami Township police.
Pardon me, but calling this “horseplay” is like equating an armed robbery with a charitable donation.
Another thing that bothers me about this story is this — they were all on the same basketball team. Yet, this one young man was so anxious to show off his junk, that two of his cohorts forced another young man to look at it, before that day’s practice. He could have waited several hours, then everyone would have been looking at his junk in the showers. In fact, since this is the middle of the hoops season, everybody else on the team has seen his junk many times before now. Therefore, what the feminists say about rape is definitely true in this case, that the “sex crime” was a crime of power and intimidation.
Looks like Matt Drudge will have to find a new quarterback to have a mancrush on.
That would be former boxer Alexander Kuznetsov.
He came home to his St. Petersburg, Russia apartment, to find an unidentified-as-of-yet 20-year old Uzbeki man raping AK’s own 8-year old stepson. Kuznetsov, who is especially adept with his hands, used them to send the pedophile to his just reward.
Super Bowl vs. Super Tuesday?
We’re headed into a week of “super-sized” events. First up on Sunday is the Super Bowl, where the undefeated New England Patriots go head-to-head with the New York Giants. And two days later, it’s Super Tuesday. Voters in more than 20 states will go to the polls, perhaps finalizing their party’s presidential nominees.
So which event are Americans more pumped up about? Turns out, it’s almost a toss-up. A new Washington Post/ABC News poll shows 40% of those surveyed say they’re more excited for the big football game, while 37% say they’re more worked up about the Super Tuesday primaries.
The poll also found those who are more psyched for the Super Bowl include: football fans – no surprise there, those who haven’t gone beyond high school, men and Independents.
As far as people who are more excited about Super Tuesday, that would include: non-football fans, college graduates, women and Democrats. When it comes to Republicans, they divide about evenly between the two events.
Here’s hoping that Greta van Susteren doesn’t have a wardrobe malfunction.
Since Tom Brady is said to have political ambitions, he might just be interested in both. John Elway, himself a participant in five “Super Sundays” and winning two of them, is involved in Republican politics in Colorado and nationally. I am surprised that he has not formally put his helmet in the ring for public office.
Overall, what this means is that husband will have a party in front of the TV with a bunch of his friends tomorrow night, while wife will do likewise on Tuesday night.
UKDM:
David Beckham wears his new tattooed art - on his forearm
David Beckham’s dream of emulating the body-covering tattoo art of Prison Break character Michael Scofield appears to be taking shape.
The footballer unveiled a new addition to his body-covering art - reported to be his 11th - as he enjoyed a kickabout on a sun-kissed beach in Brazil.
The intricate new star studded design which extends the length of his left forearm is wrapped around an existing Hindi inscription of wife Victoria’s name.
Apparently, David is a fan of hit US show Prison Break, and character Scofield’s upper-body is completely covered in a tattooed design.
And judging from this latest inking, David is keen to do the same.
Too bad that The Tat hasn’t been relevant to the storyline of PB since early last season. Of course, what can you say about a man who thinks he can become a superstar athlete in America in a sport that Americans don’t care about, at a time when his skills are degrading.
And here I thought ole Eldrick was non-political.
I have heard it said that Barack Obama is the Tiger Woods of politics. Or maybe it’s more like Tiger Woods is the Barack Obama of golf.
Mayor Slay gave University of Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel the key to the city today, in honor of the school’s best season in more than a generation. Pinkel’s first use of the key was to head on over to the St. Louis City juvenile lockup and give a motivational speech to the “residents.”
If he thinks the next Chase Daniel is somewhere in St. Louis’s junior graybar hotel, he’s fooling himself.
To Kansas he goes.
The irony of this is that the Federal prison in Leavenworth held Robert Stroud for most of his time behind bars, someone who found compassion for animals while there.
It’s now the championship season in college football, and Groundhog Day-like, here is this year’s obligatory story about the graduation rate (and racial differences thereof) in this year’s BCS schools being pathetic. And here’s my obligatory response.
Speaking of the bowls, and Mizzou’s big win yesterday in the Cotton, I have always wondered why a game called “Cotton Bowl” is played in Dallas. If you know anything about American history, then you’ll know that something called “Cotton Bowl” should be held in Memphis.
No word on whether he has sold his suburban Atlanta house yet, but the Vick joint in Surry, Virginia, the one where the dogfighting actually happened, can be had for $1.1 million.
It has 5 BR, 4.5 baths, a 2-car garage attached, two fireplaces, cathedral ceilings, and a full basketball court (the ideal place for a football player to sharpen his skills, for sure). Whether or not the used shovels are included is not stated.
Ironically, the property is approved for horses.
That very few members of the Boston Red Sox were named in yesterday’s Mitchell Report on the use of steroids and performance-enhancing substances in Major League Baseball* is probably obvious — Mitchell is on the Board of the Front Office of the Boston Red Sox. What was surprising about yesterday’s report, though, is that relatively few and relatively insignificant members of the St. Louis Cardinals were on the list.
Now we might know why — Dick Gephardt’s law firm wrote the report.
Also, there is a lot of credible talk that the Mitchell Report, even as accusatory as it was, and even as it by itself will ruin MLB’s* credibility, didn’t tell a fraction of the truth. There’s probably a reason for that — George Mitchell is on the Board of Directors of Disney, which owns ESPN, which has a lot of money invested in MLB* broadcasting rights. Should baseball* become a national joke, they lose a lot of money.
First off, fancy of former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell to start the news conference at the same time that his party’s Presidential candidates “debate” in Iowa.
When Roger Maris hit 61 home runs in the 1961 season, the Commissioner ordered an asterisk next to his record in the record books, because he did it in a 162-game season, in contrast to the previous record holder, Babe Ruth, who hit 60 in a 154-game season.
With all the speculation about Barry Bonds, there are serious proposals to asterisk his home run records. Rush Limbaugh said this morning, while reading an advance copy of the names of the players accused in Mitchell’s report, that whole teams will have to be asterisked. I’m taking it one step further — the game itself needs to be asterisked.
Either way, the game itself is about to become defunct, passe and bankrupt, because it’s obvious what a doped-up fraud it is. And by the way, this is the last thing Mayor Slay needed to hear, while he’s still scrambling trying to swing a deal to fill in that semi-circular hole in the ground just north of Busch Stadium. No need for a Ballpark Village now, eh mayor?
I get the feeling that everyone outside of Arkansas will turn into Mizzou football fans on January 1.
If he behaves, pursuant with the Federal parole guidelines, this means that he’ll only be able to play one season of prison football — which will honestly be the last organized football he will ever play.
Something terrible happened to a South Carolinian named “Lindsey” over the weekend. Here’s hoping that the more famous South Carolinian named “Lindsey” suffers a somewhat similar, if definitely not a violent fate, next June.
Punch chads, not slash necks, por favor.
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