You Don’t Shoot

20 10 2014

Staten Island

I have sort of a rhetorical question:

Why are the national media and the good hipsters and trust fund brats of Park Slope way more upset over Michael Brown and Ferguson, Missouri than Eric Garner and Staten Island, New York?

You’ve never heard of Eric Garner?  Well, then, you better start with your favorite internet search engine.  You’ll find out that as far as police-black conflagrations, it’s way murkier and maybe way more the cops’ fault than what happened in handsupdontshoot country close to me.

You’ll find hints in this very blog post, not only in the actual text, but in the categories.





No Person Is Illegal, Borders are Inhumane, Comprehensive Reform

11 09 2014

Washington, D.C.

The border patrol sprang right into action.

Don’t arrest him, give him a job inside the White House.  He’s only going there to do the jobs that the people already inside won’t do, hopping the fence for a better life.





The Dime Store Indian’s 11 Commandments For Kooktardism

18 07 2014

Detroit

Fauxcahontas speaks:

1.  We believe that Wall Street needs stronger rules and tougher enforcement, so that’s why I’m going to have Goldman Sachs fund my Presidential campaign.

2.  We believe in science, which means we must believe that human evolution totally stopped in regards to brain development 200,000 years ago.

3.  We believe that the Internet shouldn’t be rigged to benefit big corporations, instead it should be rigged to benefit never-do-evil paragons of virtue like Google.

4.  We believe that no one should work full-time and still live in poverty, and that means opening the borders.

5.  We believe that fast-food workers deserve a livable wage, and that means that when they take to the picket line, we are proud to fight alongside them right up to the point when their work is replaced by robots.

6.  We believe that students are entitled to get an education without being crushed by debt, and that’s why I’ll always be committed to the set of Democrat Party policies that allow colleges and universities to raise college costs year in and year out.

7.  We believe that after a lifetime of work, people are entitled to retire with dignity, and that means letting all the world’s grifters in to collect SSI.

8.  We believe—I can’t believe I have to say this in 2014—we believe in equal pay for equal work, and it’s a good thing too, because we won that battle decades ago.

9.  We believe that equal means equal; everybody except for me will be equally impoverished and miserable, and as men and women of science, we have faith in equality.

10.  We believe that immigration has made this country strong and vibrant, and that means letting the whole world flood in, because slave wages and tuberculosis and Ebola outbreaks and the demographics of an international airport and bowling alone…and all that jazz.

11.  And we believe that corporations are not people, that women have a right to their bodies.  I will fight with every last drop of your blood to make Hobby Lobby pay for your abortifacient drugs!

And the main tenet of conservatives’ philosophy? “I got mine. The rest of you are on your own.”  Oops, my bad, that’s more like my philosophy, I got mine, the rest of you don’t have a way to pass yourselves off as part Indian.

UPDATE

A bonus 12th commandment:

“In my quest to end corporate welfare, I am proud to announce today that I support the Export-Import Bank.”





#BringBackOurJillAbramson

15 05 2014

New York

Factor out the New York Times Company, and America’s gender pay gap virtually disappears.





Diverse As I Say, Not As I Do

12 05 2014

Washington, D.C.

Really easy.

Usually, when people don’t practice that which they preach, then that which they preach is in their eyes a socio-political weapon to be wielded against other people for their own benefit.





Klan Rally

5 05 2014

Washington, D.C.

huffpodc

Oops, my mistake.

“DOJ, citing disparate impact, files employment discrimination suit against the Huffington Post.”  MSM copy we’ll never read.





For Yee But Not For Thee

28 03 2014

San Francisco








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