The Dime Store Indian’s 11 Commandments For Kooktardism

18 07 2014


Fauxcahontas speaks:

1.  We believe that Wall Street needs stronger rules and tougher enforcement, so that’s why I’m going to have Goldman Sachs fund my Presidential campaign.

2.  We believe in science, which means we must believe that human evolution totally stopped in regards to brain development 200,000 years ago.

3.  We believe that the Internet shouldn’t be rigged to benefit big corporations, instead it should be rigged to benefit never-do-evil paragons of virtue like Google.

4.  We believe that no one should work full-time and still live in poverty, and that means opening the borders.

5.  We believe that fast-food workers deserve a livable wage, and that means that when they take to the picket line, we are proud to fight alongside them right up to the point when their work is replaced by robots.

6.  We believe that students are entitled to get an education without being crushed by debt, and that’s why I’ll always be committed to the set of Democrat Party policies that allow colleges and universities to raise college costs year in and year out.

7.  We believe that after a lifetime of work, people are entitled to retire with dignity, and that means letting all the world’s grifters in to collect SSI.

8.  We believe—I can’t believe I have to say this in 2014—we believe in equal pay for equal work, and it’s a good thing too, because we won that battle decades ago.

9.  We believe that equal means equal; everybody except for me will be equally impoverished and miserable, and as men and women of science, we have faith in equality.

10.  We believe that immigration has made this country strong and vibrant, and that means letting the whole world flood in, because slave wages and tuberculosis and Ebola outbreaks and the demographics of an international airport and bowling alone…and all that jazz.

11.  And we believe that corporations are not people, that women have a right to their bodies.  I will fight with every last drop of your blood to make Hobby Lobby pay for your abortifacient drugs!

And the main tenet of conservatives’ philosophy? “I got mine. The rest of you are on your own.”  Oops, my bad, that’s more like my philosophy, I got mine, the rest of you don’t have a way to pass yourselves off as part Indian.


A bonus 12th commandment:

“In my quest to end corporate welfare, I am proud to announce today that I support the Export-Import Bank.”


15 05 2014

New York

Factor out the New York Times Company, and America’s gender pay gap virtually disappears.

Diverse As I Say, Not As I Do

12 05 2014

Washington, D.C.

Really easy.

Usually, when people don’t practice that which they preach, then that which they preach is in their eyes a socio-political weapon to be wielded against other people for their own benefit.

Klan Rally

5 05 2014

Washington, D.C.


Oops, my mistake.

“DOJ, citing disparate impact, files employment discrimination suit against the Huffington Post.”  MSM copy we’ll never read.

For Yee But Not For Thee

28 03 2014

San Francisco

Taking It to the Streets

28 02 2013



Now, pray tell, with all this fancy machinery supposedly being used for “immigration and customs enforcement,” why are we swimming in perhaps as many as 36 million illegal aliens?

Making a Name

16 01 2013

Talk Radio


The NRA is calling Obama an elitist, and the left and the media are up in arms over this and they’re asking, “Does everybody think that they’re in the same situation as the president?  Of course the president needs to be protected.  Of course the president’s kids need to be protected.”  I got a column here from a leftist blog asking the people of the country, “Do you really think you’re in the same situation of the president?”  Let me tell this leftist blogger something.  As many kids are being shot on school campuses today, and as much senseless law is being passed about guns, I mean, if you actually proclaim a gun-free zone, you are providing a road map to somebody with a gun to go and take action.  You’re telling somebody where to go, where they can’t be stopped.

My point here is, in answer to this leftist blogger, [name and URL of the underwear-clad loser in his mother's basement redacted].  The title of his piece is:  “The NRA Opens Fire — They’ve obviously decided that the most effective strategy is to rile up their base.”  This is a column critical of the NRA and critical of you.  The NRA riling up their base?  What is Obama doing?  Obama is riling up the country.  And why?  What’s in it for him to do this?  Why is he deliberately in people’s faces making them upset?  What is driving him?

Anyway, [underwear-clad loser in his mother's basement], let me join his piece in progress here just to make my point.

“This does actually reveal an important aspect of the NRA’s world view. As far as they’re concerned, all of us should act as though we exist in the same security situation as the president of the United States. You may think you’re just the assistant regional manager of a widget company, but in fact, a terrorist commando strike force could be coming to lay siege to your home at any moment. Which is why you need to be prepared not just with a gun, but with enough weaponry to hold your own in the two-hour firefight that’s just inevitable.”

The guy is mocking you.  Let me tell you something.  I don’t know if this guy’s a parent or not.  I’m not.  But I know plenty of people who are.  Try being one today.  Is an average American parent’s concern for his or her kids any less than the president’s for his?  Should any parent be less concerned for their kids than the president is for his?  Is this what we’re now being told that we’ve gotta understand?  The president needs a $4 million a year entertainment budget?  The president needs limitless flights all over the world on Air Force One with his wife on a different plane?  The president needs countless Secret Service agents, countless armed weapons to protect him and the White House and his kids.

But you don’t, because you’re not nearly as important as the president. You’re not the target the president is.  Well, in fact, I don’t see the president’s kids in danger.  I don’t see the president’s kids going to Sandy Hook elementary.  I don’t see the president’s kids living in Chicago.  Other people’s kids do.  And they love them just as much.  And they want to protect them just as much.

I’m sure that on the evening of December 13, 2012, the parents of six-year old James Mattioli, of Newtown, Connecticut, had no reason to fear that major international terrorists had it out for their son and their son specifically by name.  Now, I don’t expect underwear-clad loser libkook bloggers in their mother’s basements to grok my point, but I know most of you do.  In case you don’t grok my point, what I mean is that the enemy that Mother and Father Mattioli really had to fear were the loser nutbars in their own midst looking to make a name for themselves the only way they could, by going bonkers in a school, killing a lot of people, and thereby becoming a major international celebrity.  That we did make the Nutmeg Nutbar a major international celebrity will only beg the next wannabe nutbar out there to do something.

Rush goes on:

My friends, I’m here to tell you: It’s the president ginning things up. It’s the president creating unrest and fear and instability and I don’t know why. I mean, I know the president’s political leanings. I know what his ideology is. I know why and what about this country he doesn’t like and wants to change. I understand all that, but I don’t understand why he wants to get in people’s faces and irritate them.

I don’t understand why he wants to make people so upset. I don’t understand what drives him on that. Now, I can understand some underwear-clad, pajama-clad, unhappy, sniveling little liberal in the basement blogging about why he would want to make you mad, because he’s miserable and he wants you to join him in it. But the president’s not miserable. (interruption) What? You think the president is miserable? No, he’s not.

I know why, Rush, and your rhetorical-polemical devices prove that you know why, too.  It’s because President Alinksy is trying to tease and antagonize the pit bull (us) to the point where we lash out enough such that they have an excuse to put us down.  Fortunately, I have an advantage over a pit bull:  The manual ability to press the power button.  Sure, Obama’s trying to provoke us.  I just choose not to participate.  It may be as hard to avoid having to hear about and see that man as turning off all media and all doodads and and just sitting around in the park listening to what birds remain around here for the winter chirp and quack and make noise, but it is possible.


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