High School A La Carte

29 06 2007

No swimming pool. How will the students ever learn anything?

Chicago Sun-Times via CofCC National Website:

Ald. Isaac Carothers [29th] and two community leaders Wednesday demanded a new high school for Austin, vowing to “march and march and march” until the community gets its fair share.

Plans to convert the old Austin High School into three small high schools have left a “big void” in the community, Carothers told Chicago School Board members.


Citing rock-bottom test scores, violence and poor attendance, officials ordered Austin High to stop accepting freshmen in 2004. Before that, it held as many as 1,810 students, CPS officials said.


Virgil Crawford of the Westside Health Authority decried the small-school “experiment.”

“We are calling for a comprehensive, state-of-the-art high school with a football field, a baseball field and a track. OK? And an Olympic-size swimming pool,” he said.

“We are willing to march and march and march and do whatever we have to do.”

Just checking off items as if it were a lunch menu? Notice that, in Mr. Crawford’s mind, a “state-of-the-art high school” means sports and athletics, not academics. He doesn’t want a high school, he wants a health club. No mention of chemistry or physics labs, multimedia centers, computer and information technology labs, vocal and instrumental music halls or art galleries.

At this rate, I’m surprised he forgot to add weight rooms, spas, saunas, a cardio room, yoga and pilates floors. What about soccer fields, lacrosse fields, outdoor and indoor tennis courts, and squash and racquetball courts?

Don’t forget the Under Armour apparel and uniforms. What about towel service? Everything has to be ADA-accessible, and that at least a few of the shower heads have to be nine feet above the floor, to accommodate tall men. The locker rooms, which should have wooden lockers like they do in the pros, and plush carpeting, should be flanked by clubhouses (for both home and visiting teams), which must have plasma TVs and PlayStation 3 video game consoles. Pat-downs from massage therapists should be available to the young athletes on demand.

In his list of demands, Mr. Crawford forgot the most important item and priority of most urban high school athletic programs, indicative of the sporting interest of the students: Basketball. The seating capacity of the showcase arena should be at least 3,000. As it is so important, there has to be separate gyms and floors for sports like volleyball and gymnastics.

If there’s going to be an Olympic-sized swimming pool, then swimming classes should be a Freshman requirement. Don’t forget that white racism, discrimination and slavery forgot to teach black youths how to swim, such that they wouldn’t be able to jump into the lake and swim away from the slave masters and from Jim Crow. Otherwise, the school’s swimming pool will become a death trap thanks to evil white people and their bigotry.

And why only ONE Olympic-sized swimming pool?  If you’re going to have a “comprehensive, state-of-the-art high school” where athletics are the alpha and omega, then you’ll have a swim team, a diving team, and a water polo team.  Why inconvenience everyone with the logistical nightmare of fitting diving practice around a water polo match?  There’s also the aforementioned swimming lessons, and P.E., and open swims for the students.  You’ll need multiple pools for such a first-class A-1 facility.

Hockey?  Luge?  Bobsledding?  The reason these and other Winter Olympics-like events are heavily white is because white bigots don’t spend enough money constructing hockey rinks, figure skating rinks, speed skating rinks, and luge/bobsled courses at urban public high schools.  If all this would have been done like it should have in the past, one Mr. Shani Davis from Chicago would not have had to relocate professionally to Canada to win a gold medal in speed skating.

Because of Title IX, just about everything in the facilities and venues realm will have to be doubled-up.  And because of the delineation between Freshman teams, Junior Varsity and Varsity teams, you might have to triple them in turn.  After all, a world class first rate comprehensive state-of-the-art high school should not be a place where varsity girl’s volleyball and Freshman boy’s basketball have to fight over practice gyms.

To top it all off, Mr. Crawford should have demanded a special gold-plated trophy plaza where all those trophies and plaques for state sports championships and other sports and athletics honors that the school’s administration will expect the students to earn will be displayed.

For real, Mr. Crawford et al. seem to behave as if the presence of a well-manicured football field and an Olympic-sized swimming pool will make Austin H.S.’s students less violent and more intelligent. The Kansas City experiment proved that notion the farce that it was all along.




2 responses

16 01 2008
Club Westminster « Countenance Blog

[…] kind sounds like my facetious rhetoric from about six months ago. And Porter wants to make sure that the school doesn’t focus too much on west St. Louis […]

19 03 2009
It’s Like Trying to Slide Laffy Taffy Through a Keyhole « Countenance Blog

[…] The irony of four black NFL players leading this effort is this:  If there is anywhere in the public school system where what I said tends not to be the case, and physical activity and team sports are the school’s only source of pride, it is inner city majority black schools. […]

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