Fun With Headlines

30 04 2008

Daily Mail:  Barclays provides personal banking services to members of Mugabe’s regime in Zimbabwe, MP claims

Billboard at the entrances to Zimbabwe from any of its neighbors:  “Financing Provided By Barclay’s”

AP:  [Human] Rights group: Zimbabwe’s army unleashing ‘terror’

Did this same “Human Rights group” demand Ian Smith’s head in the 1970s?

McPaper:  U.S. population seen tripling to 1 billion in century

Headline a century from now:  Mexico’s (formerly U.S.) population reaches 1 billion

Stein Report:  Guatemalan President Lobbies for Amnesty During Bush Visit

Why?  What did he do wrong?

WND:  ‘Free’ credit report scam

F-E-D-E-R-A-L prison sentence comes soon baby.

AP:   Obama looks to put controversial pastor behind him

And always, in his nightmares, will be that car with Illinois tags “GDAMERICA” in front of him.

AP:   Albert Hofmann, father of drug LSD, dies in Switzerland

Of what, an OD?

AFP:   WWW inventor says [15-year old] web only in infancy

Many 15-year old human beings also act like infants.

Reuters:   Michigan governor has emergency bowel surgery

Jen Granholm will no longer be full of, you know.

AP:   Book about Eliot Spitzer to be published by Penguin

The book about Eliot Spitzer that people want to read would be published by Playboy.

AP:   Prom invite is written on lacrosse players’ bare bottoms

The combination of lacrosse players and nudity didn’t end well the last time.

McPaper:  ‘CSI’ sleuths out Microsoft’s latest technology

Coming soon to CBS:  CSI Redmond, where the first case will be to figure out which employee insulted Bill.


Le Pen’s Bullet-Proof Car on Ebay

30 04 2008

Ebay France, that is. The good news is that the bidding on the souped-up 1991 Peugeot is up to €10 million ($15.5 million) at the time of this writing — so somebody appreciates his career and accomplishments. The bad news is that he thinks he no longer needs a bullet-proof car, meaning the end of his political viability.

Fun With Headlines

29 04 2008

Myrtle Beach Sun:  Chinese construction of USC dorm prompts U.S.-contractor-only bill

Why bother?  Some students who will live in that dorm will go on to learn about the glories of the global economy.

P-D:  Man tries to attack neighbors with bow, police say: Alton resident arrested after struggle

Alton’s mayor, inspired by Richard Daley, blames the bow-and-arrow industry.

AP:   Yahoo to outsource Messenger phone calls to Jajah

Yahoo Messenger phone customers soon to lose customer service.

AP:   Jerry Springer to deliver Northwestern Law commencement

Northwestern University grounds crews looking for a suitable location for the pole.

AP:  Idaho lab develops a quicker way to catch a thief

Meaning that the Maury Povich show can shrink to a half hour.

LiveScience:   Mind’s Limit Found: 4 Things at Once

Doing 4 things at once at anarchist convention requires 8 minds.

Reuters:  [Iranian]  Official sees “destructive” Barbie influence

But approves Suicide Bomber Barbie.

Reuters:  Record price for men [playing cards] in underwear at China auction

What was it?  Gay strip poker?

Story’s End

29 04 2008

Him + jail cell + cellmate = Bad ending for one of the two.  Turns out the bad ending was for the cellmate, and “he,” i.e. Robert Francis, a 31-year old homeless man from St. Louis, will probably have a cell for quite a long time.

To Become God

29 04 2008

CNS News:

Wright: U.S. ‘Capable’ of Inventing HIV for Genocide

The Rev. Jeremiah Wright, former long-time pastor to Sen. Barack Obama (D.Ill.), said at the National Press Club on Monday that he believes the U.S. government is “capable” of having invented HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, as a means of committing genocide against people of color.

So, the U.S. Government has become God? This is coming from the same genius who doesn’t quite get the neuroscience of left brain-right brain heisphere dichotomy correct. Then again, who are we to argue with black science?

Here’s a hint. HIV is a virus. A virus is a lifeform. Creating a virus out of nothing would be creating life out of nothing. Human beings cannot create other life.

This also means he fumbles the HIV/AIDS conspiracy theory. Those who think that HIV/AIDS was cooked up in some lab (most don’t blame the American government) think that an existing retrovirus was given special conditions with which to evolve into an increasingly more malicious retrovirus that we understand as HIV/AIDS. In fact, the HIV/AIDS virus is evolving, and new strains are beginning to develop resistance to the standard drug cocktail.

Most legit scientists think the virus existed in African green monkeys, and then “official” explanation for that is that the virus made the jump to humans first in sub-Saharan Africa because the people undercooked the monkey meat. The taboo but more plausible explanation is that the humans had sex with the monkeys.

“Based on the Tuskegee experiment and based on what has happened to Africans in this country, I believe our government is capable of doing anything,” Wright said at the press club.

Let’s clear the air about the Tuskegee experiment. An anonymous poster to the Forums at American Renaissance on March 28, 2008, said:

The “Tuskegee experiment” is deliberately misrepresented: Most media outlets (including even “US News and World Report”), have regularly falsely reported that it involved black men being DELIBERATELY infected with syphilis. Most blacks believe this version of the lie. John Leo wrote an excellent article on this myth: When the Tuskegee experiment began, penicillin (a WHITE invention) had not yet been invented. The treatments at the time were worse than the disease itself. There was a belief that just letting it run its course was preferable to the treatments being used at the time: That the body could cure itself better. So there were a number of experiments set up with volunteers, including whites, such as with a similar study in NORWAY, to test this hypothesis. Tuskegee, a black institution, was chosen, not because it was black, BUT BECAUSE IT SERVED A COMMUNITY BEING RAVAGED BY SYPHILIS. The black men in the Tuskegee study ALREADY HAD SYPHILIS. The experiment was run by BENEFACTORS OF THE BLACK COMMUNITY with the black community’s full cooperation. The failing was that much later, when penicillin was developed by a white man, and shown to be effective, the participants in the study were not notified of white man’s new cure for this scourge. Someone dropped the ball. But it was not the first time such a thing had happened: Almost always to WHITE study participants. Since then there are better guidelines and controls so that such a thing does not occur again.
If you want some REAL examples of DELIBERATE experiments on human beings that were carried out in this country, look at the military’s exposure of soldiers (all white) during the early ‘50’s to radiation from atom bomb explosions in the Nevada desert, to determine the short and long term effects. My father was one of them: In a trench a few hundred yards from a detonation in Frenchman Flats. The fireball hit the ground and covered the soldiers with radioactive dust. They were brushed off with BROOMS before boarding the bus. Long after retirement from the army my father received yearly surveys from the military asking health questions. 40 years after exposure he developed thyroid cancer, a cancer caused ONLY by radiation exposure. No help from the government.


Separated At Birth

28 04 2008

One is Rev. Jeremiah Wright.  The other is former Congressman and possible Libertarian Party Presidential candidate Bob Barr.  Which is which?

Fun With Headlines

28 04 2008

Lake Sun Leader:  Governor’s residence a home to all Missourians

Really?  This means if I try to go to my home, that nobody with badges and guns will stop me?

WWL-CBS-4 New Orleans:  4 Investigates: Floodwalls stuffed with newspaper?

Found use for New Orleans Times-Picayune other than bird cage liner.

Houston Chronicle:  Polygamist sect children present a cultural challenge for foster-care facilities

Foster care parents not prepared for the inevitable question, “Why doesn’t Montana get rid of this Hannah?”

Time:   McCain Sells the Caring Conservative

He’s not a conservative, nor does he care.