Fun With Everything

9 09 2008

CNS:  White House Blames Congress for Mortgage Takeover

Yeahbut, this President did brag about record-high minority home ownership several times, which only happened because the Federal government forced lenders to give up most pretenses of lending standards.

MOPNS:  Hip Hop Palooza Comes to An End

Sounds like something that shouldn’t have come to a beginning.

P-D:  Mexican drug smuggler caught by stealing gas

His best friend is probably someone who knocked off a cop because he didn’t want a $5 parking ticket.

Canada National Post:  [Sarah Palin,] An icon of fertility

Two people begetting five people does make for a pretty good average.

AP:  Titans asked for police help to find QB [Vince] Young

If I were the team, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry to find him.

AP:  Man says he’s eaten 23,000 Big Macs since 1972

What was the occasion for this story?  An angioplasty?

Malkin:  Us Weekly now offering “five FREE issues” to outraged readers

The deal-clincher was that at least two of them has to cover Democrat martial infidelity.

CNS:  Killing Bin Laden Won’t Mean Death to Al Qaeda, Expert Says

Hey, don’t tell that to the Dummocrats — that’s their whole entire strategy for the War on Terror.

CNS:  Obama Promises to Boost Charter School Funding

That’s the Dummocrat Party Motto — the more something fails, the more money they want to pump into it.

KSDK:  Noose Found at Illinois State Work Site

It might have been rope, because, as we all know, this is the first time in the history of the world that rope has been used at a construction site.

KSDK:  Author Explores What Happens if Humans Disappear

If we do, then nobody will be around to verify his thesis.

P-D:  Michael Phelps’ income more than doubles

What he ought to do is move to Chicago and marry a woman who will become a U.S. Senator.  When she does, his income will triple again.

WND:  California bans ‘brides,’ ‘grooms’

Opts for “queens.”

AP:  Estimates say fed budget deficit nearing $407B

Is this pre- or post-Fannie and Freddie?

AP:  Apple’s Jobs jokes about rumors about his health

Then promulgates rumors about Apple’s upcoming product, iRumorDispeller.

AP:  Lieberman skipping Democratic policy lunches

Good thing, because he would need a food taster if he didn’t.

AP:  KFC shoring up security for secret recipe

Our nuclear secrets aren’t that well guarded.

AP:  Paul: Reject the major parties, go for a third

I disagree with Ron.  We don’t need a third party, we need a second one.

LiveScience:  Brains Wired Differently in Men vs. Women

Scientists figured that this would be the conclusion when they saw a bunch of neurons arranged like a football in the brains of men, and ones arranged like a purse in the brains of women.

AP:  Police seek shoplifting swimming suspect

All they need to do is find someone with pruney fingers.



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