Fun With Post-Roadtrip Headlines

27 02 2011

Hot Air:  Sweet: Illinois Republican wants fugitive Wisconsin Dems to pay state income tax

An income tax rate that just went up, by and by.

CNS:  US: Libyan Warns Journalists Illegally in Country

American State Department shocked to find a country in this world that enforces its immigration laws.

UK Telegraph:  Army should provide moral education for troops to stop outrages

In other words, they should teach them how not to fight, and how to loaf around and be sitting ducks for the sort of people whom we used to call “enemies,” but we now have to refer to as “insurgents” out of PC because they’re non-white.  Why have an Army then?

Daily Mail:  Somali pirates accused of killing four Americans could face death penalty in U.S.

I’d much rather them face the death penalty in Somalia.

LAT:  Obama recruits an army of community organizers to carry his ‘movement forward for years to come’

What took him so long?  I’m surprised we’re already not up to our asses in ’em.

NRA:  Schumer and Bloomberg team up to target private sales

I don’t care what it is.  If it’s something that both Schumer and Bloomberg are against, it’s probably something that we should all be for.

CNS:  Thune Declines to Run for President for 2012

He was worried that too many Alan Harper puns would dog his campaign.

Reason:  Why the Evil Koch Bros. Must be Stopped: They Support Drug Legalization, Gay Marriage, Reduced Defense Spending.

They’re involved in a vast and evil conspiracy to leave you alone and save you money.

P-D:  Man charged with killing St. Louis man with skillet five years ago

Time for skillet control, and bans on assault skillets and high capacity handles.

Daily Mail:  Thief steals NFL fan’s $7,500 prosthetic leg… which he’d just had customized for his beloved Oakland Raiders

Raider prosthesis raided.  LOL at 11.

NYP:  CNN ousts Kathleen Parker from ‘Parker Spitzer’

Spitz without the ditz.

P-D:  Man in McDonald’s shirt, hat robs Spanish Lake bank

When you see a man in McDonalds garb coming at you, run for your life.  When you see men coming at you at a McDonalds-themed car, speed for your life:

UK Telegraph:  Goggles banned at school swimming lessons

Sure, they might dangerous to wear in an environment totally unnatural for humans.

WCBS-2 NYC:  Rep. Anthony Weiner Wants ‘Sexist’ Queens Statue Removed

A guy named Weiner can’t stand the sight of a dick.

Daily Mail:  Downcast Two And A Half Men star Jon Cryer keeps busy after series is cancelled

John Thune body double!

Daily Mail:  Please don’t book me! The moment footballer earning £185,000 a WEEK begged traffic warden not to give him £32 fine

“I’m black and I play soccer.  Traffic tickets are only for the little honkies.”




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