In a nod to the growing problem of childhood obesity, the state Board of Education recently approved a proposal that would require schools to calculate and record a child’s body mass index, which relates to body fat. At the same time, the proposal also eliminates a decades-long practice of checking middle-school students for signs of the spine condition scoliosis.
“Scoliosis,” you said? When you say “scoliosis,” it brings back memories of the sixth grade. I remember the gym teacher ending class early that day and telling us not to get back into our clothes so quickly once we got out of the showers. That’s because some gray-haired old man wanted to check out our spines, (and incidentally, if he was a perv getting his rocks off by looking at a bunch of naked prepubescent or barely pubescent 11- and 12-year old boys stand straight then bend over then stand straight again then bend over again, who were we to deprive him of his fun?), to see if any of us had that “Scoli-Oli” thing or whatever they called it.
Repeat in 7th and 8th grade.
Now that scoliosis fears are out and obesity fears are in, thank you Michelle Obama, I guess the new middle school tradition will be weighing in naked, a la the boxer/wrestler/MMAer trying to make weight, to get your BMI is as low as possible.