Mark Levin to Karl Rove: ‘Get the hell off the stage already, will you pal?’
On his Monday radio program, talk show host Mark Levin, author of “Ameritopia: The Unmaking of America,” rejected the notion that the Republican Party should become more moderate to win over voters and blasted several commentators who suggested otherwise.
Levin added that the so-called Republican “consultant class” — including MSNBC analyst and former John McCain adviser Steve Schmidt — should be required to disclose how much they’re being paid before they’re allowed to try to steer the party.
“This consultant class, ladies and gentlemen, is very, very dangerous,” Levin said. “And all this money you contribute to the campaigns — they’re pocketing a fortune. And the Republican Party, they’re not only pulling the Republican Party in the wrong direction, they’re losing campaigns.”
This is a good segue for me to spill a bean. Just one.
Even before coming into Todd’s campaign, I already figured out that this whole industry of campaign consultants was a scam. What Groucho Marx’s grandmother after a hysterectomy (and no, I’ll never forget any of that) calls the “consultant class,” I call the “barnacle class.” Basically, the scam boils down to this: A new barnacle latches his way onto some political campaign. If the politician happens to win the election, then the barnacle will get the credit among his cohorts in the barnacle class, even if the barnacle’s advice had nothing to do with his politician winning. And because of that, other politicians feel the need to hire this barnacle for future campaigns. A given barnacle that is lucky enough to latch his way onto enough winning politicians, again, I must stress, even if the barnacle’s advice, strategy and tactics have nothing to do with those politicians winning, then the given barnacle will get hired by more and more prominent politicians. Eventually, a lucky enough barnacle that latches himself onto a Presidential candidate that wins election then re-election will be a guest on Sean Hannity’s show every other day and will be called “The Architect” and “a great American.”
What I learned over these past few months is that members of the barnacle class are such egomaniacal self-righteous assholes, mainly as a result of all the adulation and ass kissing that the barnacle class and dim-witted hood ornament politicians and commentators give to the “successful” members of the barnacle class, that if you’re a political candidate, and you let any of these “successful” barnacles anywhere close to your campaign, then you better realize what you’re buying, and you also better realize that you better do everything these barnacles want you to do. For if you don’t, they will feel slighted, and they will have no choice but to turn Judas and stab you in the back. Because they have no choice but to do that out of pure self-interest and self-preservation of the barnacle industry. If you wind up winning in spite of their advice, then that only demonstrates the barnacles’ own uselessness and futility, and it might be a big enough pop in the balloon that deflates it and borks the barnacle industry and barnacle class forever.
This is why Karl Roverrated and others like him in the barnacle class turned so mightily against Todd. Including, in my humble opinion, Roverrated having death threats phoned in to Todd’s Congressional office in Washington, D.C., and also Roverrated starting and using sympathetic media lackeys and fellow barnacles to spread FUD rumors about our supposed dire financial situation. (True, we never had the kind of coin that Claire had, because every time you turned around, Claire was in San Francisco hustling money.) Roverrated couldn’t afford for Todd to win, so he had to be a poo-flinging monkey in order to intimidate Todd out of the race or stink us up so badly that the outcome was inevitable if he stayed in. There was another dimension to this angle, but that’s another bean to spill on another day.
I now realize that if I ever met Karl Roverrated, and called him Karl Roverrated to his face, he would literally murder me on the spot if he was armed.
Now, you may ask: Blogmeister, weren’t you sort of a barnacle? Yes and no. It’s true that hardly any of my advice was heeded, and I think that even after the Fateful Sunday, that we had a path to victory. And it’s also true that I’m arrogant, conceited and full of myself. But I’m not so arrogant as to think that Todd would have automatically won if more of my advice was taken, and I’m not so arrogant to think that he only lost because my advice wasn’t taken. Too, I’m not in the barnacle class because I’m self-admitted ultra-picky about politicians. I’ll only be a staffer on a campaign for a politician that I want to win or do well because I believe in them and I know they’re not two-bit phonies. If I wanted to be part of the barnacle class, I would lose the pickiness. Let me put it to you this way: There have been ten biennail Federal election cycles since I turned 17 years old, and I’ve only been a campaign staffer four of those cycles. If I wanted to be in the barnacle class, I would do better than getting on with campaigns 40% of the time. I should also add that I was a non-paid volunteer for a given St. Louis City Mayoral candidate in 1993, (name rhymes with Tom Villa), the primary day and election in substance was before I even turned 16 years old.
A couple of pieces of housekeeping business: This and my two previous similar posts are part of a new category of this blog’s posts called “Spilling the Beans.” Click it, and you’ll have all these posts and any future ones in one easy URL. Second, I’ve lengthened the commenting time on posts to 90 days. I’m sure my Spilling the Beans posts will have a lot of outside interest.