Around the Metro
* This story from Fairview Heights made Drudge. Latoya and Hickey didn’t much like it when the Best Buy exit clerk asked to see the receipt, so she started in on a chimpout and he slapped the clerk. I bet they were trying for a five-fingered Kwanzaa discount, (“Ujamaa” and all), and didn’t like being caught. This article doesn’t say whether they actually paid for their items or not, but for now, I have to imply that, from their bad reaction in being asked to see the receipt, they were stealing. UPDATE: BND has more: He’s an ex-jock, she works for the ESL school district.
* No Christmas break for attempting to carry out the death penalty in the ghetto. The suspect has gold teeth, we know that much for sure. Not much else to go on.
* Why bother citing the scant and suspiciously non-racial information they give us about the suspects? They used a hammer — That’s all we need to know. It’s the fault of the National Hammer Association and the hardware store which first sold the hammer at retail.
* More Hammer Time Hammer Crime. The suspect, 32 years old, is said to be a meth dealer. He looks older than 32, so he’s probably also a meth user.