Local Not So Funny Pages

22 12 2012

Around the Metro

This story from Fairview Heights made Drudge.  Latoya and Hickey didn’t much like it when the Best Buy exit clerk asked to see the receipt, so she started in on a chimpout and he slapped the clerk.  I bet they were trying for a five-fingered Kwanzaa discount, (“Ujamaa” and all), and didn’t like being caught.  This article doesn’t say whether they actually paid for their items or not, but for now, I have to imply that, from their bad reaction in being asked to see the receipt, they were stealing.  UPDATE:  BND has more:  He’s an ex-jock, she works for the ESL school district.

No Christmas break for attempting to carry out the death penalty in the ghetto.  The suspect has gold teeth, we know that much for sure.  Not much else to go on.

Why bother citing the scant and suspiciously non-racial information they give us about the suspects?  They used a hammer — That’s all we need to know.  It’s the fault of the National Hammer Association and the hardware store which first sold the hammer at retail.

More Hammer Time Hammer Crime.  The suspect, 32 years old, is said to be a meth dealer.  He looks older than 32, so he’s probably also a meth user.

The doo-ragged grinch that stole Christmas.

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