Armed guards in elementary schools? Too much.
Condom dispensers in high schools that bear a strange resemblance to the lower half of a female torso, especially the strangely near-accurate looking “down there?” A-OK.
I know how it works: You grab several of those things from down there, stick the contents on your rod, then you shove it in a real world version of that up in the other direction.
I should really get my mind out of the gutter.