If I Play This Right, I Could Have a Month of Material From This

15 05 2016

Menlo Park, California


Quick, I need a punchline.




11 responses

15 05 2016

Facebook to change name to Facebowl

15 05 2016
Marc Zuckurburg

Make immigration comprehensive again!

I am a strong, solid advocate for good, clean, top flight, top drawer, strong, solid, robust, common sense, solid as a rock, solid as they come, desperately needed, way overdue, humanitarian, compassion-based comprehensive immigration reform. The kind of immigration reform that melts in your mouth, not in your hand. The kind of immigration reform that plumps when you cook it. The kind of immigration reform that just makes you feel good and shout for joy for a job well done.

Comprehensive immigration reform will raise wages and salaries, strengthen national security, prevent terrorism, enhance our domestic crime-fighting ability, ensure that we continue to encourage the best and brightest to partake of the American dream, enhance our competitiveness and our ability to innovate, and make America more prosperous.

Comprehensive immigration reform will make the economy more fair and equitable, help clean and preserve our environment, bolster Social Security and Medicare, aid the cause of reproductive rights and LGBT rights, drive a stake through the heart of bigotry and discrimination, guarantee social justice for all, and make America more vibrant and diverse.

It will also make immigration more comprehensive.

The reason I advocate comprehensive immigration reform over other ideas is that I checked out the other ideas, and they just aren’t comprehensive, they just don’t do it for me in the comprehensiveness department. I really like the comprehensive nature of comprehensive immigration reform. The best part of comprehensive immigration reform is its comprehensiveness. With comprehensive immigration reform, I’ll be a’comprehensivin. My ultimate goal with immigration reform is to be comprehensiver than thou.

I also have a soft spot in my heart for things that are comprehensive. From a little boy, I remember sitting at our dinner table many evenings, and my father would point his finger straight at me and give me a stern look, and he told me that if I ever got a chance to screw over the goy, to do it completely and (his own word) “comprehensively.” He was adamant that I not waste any golden or silver or green opportunities. I’m glad to say that I’m finally living up to my father’s expectations. For his most recent birthday present, I had a wooden ventriloquist style caricature doll of myself made, and I call the doll Marc de la Comprehensiva. It’s his third favorite possession in the whole world, his second is his 1978 Lincoln Town Car which he hopes will run forever, and his first is his gold plated Talmud.

The other kinds of immigration reform are also dangerous, because they rely on rhetoric such as “round them up and deport them all,” “build walls,” “make America great again.” That’s the kind of rhetoric that reminds me of Nazi Germany, and the Nazis gassed all ten of my grandmas to death at Auschwitz. Ten grandmas here, ten grandmas there, and that’s how you roll that odometer up to six million. It’s why internationally respected scholars and researchers like Glenn Beck have concluded that the Presidential candidates who spew that kind of rhetoric are exactly like Hitler. They all run around bragging about their puny putrid pitiful little $10 billion fortunes, when the truth of the matter is that they took years to make that kind of money, I made my much larger $40 billion fortune almost overnight. And I mean that literally, because I often wake up and find out I’m worth a few billion more than when I went to sleep. Their fortunes are in old fashioned relics of the past, fuddy duddy stuff like buildings and real estate, and my fortune is in the asset of the future, Facebook stock. They had to make their money the old fashioned way, by earning it, and I made my fortune the new modern progressive way, scamming half the world to give me all their personal information so I can sell it to Madison Avenue, the Mossad and the NSA, and schmoozing up to important politicians. I made my money while I’m still young enough to enjoy spending it to break the back of the goyim.

Sometimes, the other kinds of immigration reform wind up being scams. They promise to be comprehensive, but when you look at what you get, they wind up leaving out a lot of the comprehensiveness. Worse than that, you might get the full 100% comprehensiveness at first, but like a thief in the night, they break in and steal a lot of the comprehensiveness. That’s not the Marc Zuckurburg way, the fully comprehensive way. I’m so nice that I’ll even throw in some extra added bonus comprehensiveness, 25% more free, no extra charge. I also guarantee the comprehensiveness in my immigration reform with a 7 year 70,000 mile limited powertrain warranty that also protects you from rust and corrosion. It covers you from bumper to bumper. It’s the best warranty in the immigration reform business.

This is why poll after poll shows that people support comprehensive solutions to our immigration problems, instead of problematic solutions that have Nazi rhetoric as their foundations, or solutions bereft of comprehensiveness. It’s why more and more people are giving up silly hobbies like diddling around with fishing poles, or telescopes, or collecting stamps, or sleeping, and joining in Marc’s Comprehensive Corps. People know that middle class greed hurts billionaires in need.

It’s also why, in spite of the fact that I know my bad reputation precedes me, for example, I keep hearing everyone behind my back calling me a two-faced crapweasel, and those are just the people that work for me, and are related to me, and are close friends of me, and also my wife, and those were also the first words out of my kid’s mouth, and also, for some reason I can’t figure out, people who know me for long enough wind up saying things behind my back like “Maybe Hitler had a point,” “Maybe I should give Hitler a second look,” and cruel things like that, I want to assure all of you that my support for comprehensive immigration reform is pure and genuine. I will never betray the cause, I will always be loyal, solid as a rock, dependable. So much so that I beg you that when you think of comprehensive immigration reform, you should instantly think of me, the great Marc Zuckurburg.

It’s also why more and more people are saying every day, and you should too:

Make my immigration reform comprehensive, please!

16 05 2016

IP traceroutes to Italy. I knew you weren’t the real Mark Zuckerberg, if for no other reason alone, the spelling. But now that you were dumb enough to comment here, I was able to see your IP.

That said:

(1) You obviously know nothing about the Talmud. It’s an extensive multi-volume set, not some singular book like The Bible.

(2) Something tells me this bit about “1978 Lincoln Town Car” is a slick diss relating to the saying “Jew canoe,” which is basically a way of making fun of Jews for their propensity to drive large medium horsepower sofas-on-wheels. The mid-’70s Lincoln coupes and sedans were among the largest ever made.

(3) Mark Zuckerberg’s real father was (probably still is, because he’s probably not that old yet to retire) a Westchester County dentist, his mother a psychiatrist. Comfortable enough to send Mark to Exeter and Harvard, which isn’t cheap, and probably his brothers and sisters went to good schools too. Top few percent, for sure, but hardly the Schlomo Shekelstein Soros type. Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t strike me as a Schlomo, either.

(4) And yes, Marc, I will be thinking of Mark Zuckerberg every time I think of comprehensive immigration reform. In fact, not only will I be thinking of him, I’ll be looking directly at him.

With every dart I throw.

16 05 2016

He was obviously making a mockery of zuckerberg and open borders shills. I found it pretty funny.

16 05 2016

He shows up all the time on AR.

16 05 2016
16 05 2016

Go away troll.

By the way if Hitler killed all your grandmothers, and by the way a person can’t have more than two grandmothers, then he also killed your father’s mother which means your father with his golden Talmud and his whale car wouldn’t exist.

16 05 2016
Marc Zuckurburg

I am not a troll.

I am a strong, solid advocate for strong, solid, robust, common sense, comprehensive immigration reform. You should be, too.

Make my immigration reform comprehensive, please!

16 05 2016
Alright Dan

Glenn Beck is a worldwide respected scholar and researcher?


Wasn’t a few years ago that the Jews were ready to cook Beck from all sides?

15 05 2016
Alex the Goon

I heard you ran out of teddy bears. Here’s a cargo shipload for you. If you want another waifu, LMK. I can get you one on the next shipment.

16 05 2016
Joshua Sinistar

Oh that Dinosaur Media pool is just getting so small. It was inevitable that two of the biggest SUCKS in the swamp would eventually get together just from the pull of the suck itself. Suckersperg and his Myspace 2.0 is going Chapter 13 as all the teens and tweens leave and the fakebook of half-fake and other half lies fills up with old people who want to show slides of their vacation on Algores spidey undiewebs. Cuckoo for Cuckhold porn Blazer Radio Glenn Cuck has lost his mind as well as his shirt as his Marchin Lootin Kang Werld Tour crashes into Trump’s Yuuuge Wall. Both the support systems of yesterday’s newz has gone all Mole Newz Old Hag Kelly Megyno IRRELEVANT. But Irrelevancy isn’t a big problem. Look at Cable, its irrelevant and still has some niggers watching it. Have you seen the Rap Soap Operas? No? Me neither. But eyeballs aren’t as important as narrative. Ask Algore’s Al Jazeera, or that great channel that went under when Al Frankenweiner went to the Imperial Senate. Profits are secondary to the message. If you beam a message and nobody hears it, is it a sound investment? Nah, but China doesn’t care it just wants its money, nigger.

It's your dime, spill it. And also...NO TROLLS ALLOWED~!

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