Glock Stock and Barrel

13 07 2016


Against my better judgment, because all this gun talk is a diversion to keep us from thinking about who did Dallas and Orlando, I want to respond to this bit about how it’s easier for teenagers to buy a Glock than it is for them to buy a book.

Here’s the catch:  I’m not really going to respond to Mr. Obama’s statement per se.  I’m going to respond to the standard boilerplate mode of conservative response to him and his bon mot.

The problem with it is that, since lamestream conservatives are mostly white people who live in suburbs, exurbs and rural areas, and almost always abide by all Federal and state laws in the process of their acquisition of firearms, their response is couched in their conceptual framework of “teenagers” meaning their (“white”) teenage (“sons”) and the census of dead tree and ink bookstores and book retailers where they live, and the rate at which their teenagers and their people in general own standalone e-readers or have e-reader apps on their smartphones and of the particularities of Federal and the several states’ firearms laws.  In the universe of the lamestream conservative, the teenager can buy a book with just a few taps of a screen, while his attempt to purchase a handgun will be rejected at the local shooting supply store for his underage status.  QED:  “See?  It’s actually easier for my teenage son to buy a book than it is for him to buy a Glock.”

This will be one of the very very few and rare instances in which I defend Mr. Obama in this space, and even at that, it will only be superficially and out of a sense of fairness.

When Mr. Obama said “teenager,” his mental image was that of N’Deshawntavious on the corner of Halsted and A-Hundred-and-Something on ChiCongo’s south side, and when he said “buy a Glock,” he’s not exactly thinking of a brick and mortar retailer where an FLFD fills out paperwork for NCIC runs.  Also, N’Deshawntavious don’t read no mofo books.  He ain’t no oreo, no sellout, no coon, no Uncle Ruckus, no Uncle Tom.  You’ll never catch him acting white!  Therefore, you’re not going to find many B&N stores along Halsted, and ooks’ phones are highly unlikely to have Kindle apps.  So, of course, in Mr. Obama’s conceptual framework, keeping in mind that his community activist career started on such corners, it is actually a lot easier for a teenager to buy a Glock than it is for him to buy a book.  Mainly because the teenagers of his conceptual framework buy a hell of a lot more Glocks than books.

It all comes down to Dilbert’s risk profiles.




5 responses

13 07 2016
Joshua Sinistar

Oh come on, man. Defending Obama is like trying to defend OJ. He knows how White people live. His jew grandparents raised him in an upscale White neighborhood with a “good school” in Hawaii. This guy is about as authentically black as Al Jolson. His gun shit is the same old same old commie trick of disarming the people to oppress them without fear of retaliation, and NO Hitler did not disarm Germans. He encouraged civil defense, and raised the military and police and only disarmed enemies of the State like Communist jews and the notoriously criminal “travellers” or gypsies.

15 07 2016
Area Man

0bama might have a point if we did not spend billions on putting libraries in the hood. I have yet to see a place that will let you walk in and use a Glock in the building for free with no ID and will let you take it home for free if you live in the neighborhood.

15 07 2016

Speaking of which, sorta, the gun storage truck Downtown looks like it’s not gonna happen because the guy wanting to do it is having a hard time getting all the permit ducks in a row.

27 07 2016

Scott Adams has a point, but it is not exact. Most white liberal democrats are *not* in fear of gun violence, because they live in whitopias like Wellesley, MA or [fill in blank]. Their world view requires that they signal their virtue by pretending that when Dontavius shoots D’quan that it matters. It doesn’t matter, unless a bystander gets hit. It’s one thing to wish in the abstract that we lived in a different world where everyone acted, well, white, but we do not, and democrats are just children having a temper-tantrum.

27 07 2016

These urban whitopias are close enough to Bell Curve City. Which is why they’re doing AFFH, to get Bell Curve City away from them.

It's your dime, spill it. And also...NO TROLLS ALLOWED~!

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