A Whole Lot to Unpack

4 06 2017

Plantation, Florida

Let’s unpack, and by “unpack,” I don’t mean our invisible white privilege knapsacks.

* “Florida man.”  Always a good time for Florida man to make an appearance.

* A 19-year old high school senior.  Flunked a year?

* His mother rented him a Corvette.  Well, pardon me, but car rental companies are so anal-retentive about their standard fare age limit of 25 that they’ll flip out if you even let someone under the age of 25 touch the steering wheel, even if they themselves have their own insurance, and even if they’re in the accompaniment of the over-25s renting the car.  Will the company she rented the ‘Vette from sue her?  Probably not, because lawsuits don’t work against the black undertow for the most part, unless the end result involves sheriff’s deputies.

* “He was thinking of committing to attend the University of Tampa in August.”  If on a football scholarship, he should have committed to some school long before now.

* That gawdy tacky ostentatious git-up he was wearing, that questionable dance he did near the car before he went to the prom, and the fact that he both went to the prom and was driving back from the prom when the “accident” happened with a 17-year old junior who was a teammate of his, and the picture of the two of them embracing, suggest to me that the dearly departed was a Genderbread Person (formerly:  LGBTQ-BLT-BBQ-LOL-WTF), and that one Mr. Palmer was his prom date.

* “There were Lamborghinis, Maseratis. Everyone knows when it’s prom, that’s what it’s about – extravagant things,'” said the victim’s mother.  Yeah, maybe for certain people, they think it’s all about conspicuous showy consumption.  For most of us, it’s about rented tuxes that all look the same, dresses that all look the same, and maybe a rented limo, but usually not.

* “‘It could’ve happened to anybody. Like I said, he could have had a Toyota and it could have flipped over.'” — Said the mother.  Except, a Corvette can do things a Corolla can’t.  Really, though, you know who is most happy to read that?  Toyota’s PR team.  This means that people, in a network effect sort of way, associate “Toyota” with “safety and stability.”

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2 responses

5 06 2017
Stan d Mute

Car rental companies have recently begun renting cars that are FAR beyond the ability of average drivers to control at, or anywhere near, their limits.

Examples include Corvettes, Camaro SS (455hp), Mustang GT (435hp), Mercedes AMG C63, Dodge Charger R/T, etc.

Rental cars are abused. A rental that will easily run 0-60mph in under 5sec and just as easily run out to 180mph or higher, seems a recipe for mayhem. It’s bad enough that the Mustang GT, for example, is only around $35k, but at least owners will more patiently grow their driving skills as they explore the limits of their cars. Rental drivers, on the other hand, with zero experience driving such powerful machines and the peculiarities of any given model, will try to wring the things out before the end of their 24hr rental term.

PS – these are *cheap* rentals too. The Vette is $150/day, the Camaro SS & Mustang GT are $50/day, the C63 and Jag F-type are $200/day. A Suburban or F-150 or minivan typically costs more to rent.

5 06 2017

It's your dime, spill it. And also...NO TROLLS ALLOWED~!

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