Real Housewives of Cologne, Episode 13

30 04 2021

“SO TYPICAL THEM”

My sister-in-law’s sonogram was this week.

Both of my wife’s grandmothers are also both of my sister-in-law’s grandmothers, and, as you already know from reading this series, they are both parties to fraternal twins in some way, and in ways that they passed the heritable trait for fraternal twinning to both of these granddaughters, among others. My sister-in-law is herself north of 30, and that by itself increases the odds. Which means that the odds of fraternal twins were just as high for her as they were for her sister. However, even with all that, it’s still a relative longshot. The odds against this kind of lightning striking twice were lottery-type long. My sister-in-law’s weight gain curve is and has been nowhere near as out of sorts as her sister’s, and her own morning sickness, which by now has come and gone, was a relative walk in the park again also compared to what her sister went through. Those things combined were circumstantial evidence for one instead of two.

And the sonogram confirmed.

One.

One boy.

Since it’s a boy, you can guess who hit the roof, again. A third grandson is on the way for grandpa. And, for those of you who got my birth announcement for my own, you already know one thing grandpa is going to arrange over these next few months.

And I’m really looking forward to our sons having a boy first cousin a mere eight months younger than themselves.

The narrowed down due date range has as its later bookend three days before his father’s own birthday, so he would have to be more late than medically desirable for them to be his father’s 32nd birthday present.

***

You may also remember me writing here that, in a sense, and inserting what we now know, that this single boy will be a de facto third son for my wife and I. Those two have done a lot of growing up, but I wish they would do a lot more of it, if for no other reason, for the sake of our soon to arrive nephew. Those two are about to be parents; they need to cut it out with ALL the dipshittiness and immaturity over these next four months.

Something that the soyboy-in-law told me the evening after the sonogram results confirms the urgency of all that.

I asked him if they’ve been thinking about names, and now, just one male name since we know it’s one boy. He told me that their plan all along has been to wait until (now we know, he) is born, look at (him), and the first name that either the new mommy or daddy blurts out, that is going to be (his) name.

Those of you who got my birth announcement know about how intricately and delicately I played out the politics of naming my own two, names that I had already known I wanted to name a firstborn son of mine for a very long time and a second son for fifteen years. So you just knew that as meticulous as I was, is as flippant as they are. It’s so typical them.

And, oh boy, pun intended, this is going to be a real crap shoot. If this turns out as badly as the expectant grandpa, grandma, aunt and myself fear, then I think we’ll all have to come to a consensus on an alias. Then eventually put the idea in the boy’s head to do a legal name change once he gets old enough.

However this will play out, four months hence, it’s gonna, come hell or high Rhine.


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3 responses

30 04 2021
Alex the Goon

“We’ll let him choose his gender, so we’ll let him choose his name too”
or
“Caitlyn”

30 04 2021
Hard Right

They probably won’t have to worry about explosives at the gender reveal party, so he won’t blow anybody up.

2 05 2021
countenance

Yeah, maybe I should look on the bright side. It’s not as bad as it could be, and, if you knew my sister- and soyboy-in-law, you’d realize that there’s a lot of goofiness headroom.

It's your dime, spill it. And also...NO TROLLS ALLOWED~!

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