The Birth of an Influencer

22 09 2021

Cologne; Berlin

Who says I can’t vote in this country?

Sunday is that day. Both the federal elections and also a few federal states go.

While I “legally” can’t cast a vote, I found a way to cast five votes for the AfD.

To set this up, you have to understand that every voter gets two votes: One for their preferred candidate in their district/constituency, and the other for preferred party in the generic, in the mixed member proportional representation system. The governing body thus consists of the actual district winners and of “list candidates.” If a party gets at least 5%, then the party structure can fill the legislative body by choosing among those who are on a pre-determined pre-announced list of people. As an aside, if a party’s Chancellor candidate is either currently not in the Federal Bundestag or is not in a good position to win a seat on his or her own accord, then the party will make him or a her a list candidate then choose him or her as part of their list allotments, which of course depend on their percentage of the vote. Armin Laschet, who is currently my federal state’s Minister-President (more or less the NRW governor), and also Union’s (CDU+CSU) Chancellor candidate, is doing that. He is not running in his home district which is in Aachen, but instead is a statewide list candidate.

My father-in-law, normally a pretty faithful CDU voter, will vote AfD for both the direct candidate and party preference. My mother-in-law, who does whatever my father-in-law does, will therefore do the same. My wife will vote for the SPD candidate for the district but then AfD as her party preference. Whereas otherwise, she would also vote SPD as her preferred party. However, she’s too professionally invested in the SPD not to give at least half her political energy to it. But she’s now just as much under my spell. So she figures the best solution is to split her vote in the way I just described.

My sister-in-law is dyed in the wool Green, and the soyboy-in-law poodles along even though he’s really not that politically interested. If he wasn’t married to my sister-in-law, I figure the odds that he would either vote Green or not vote at all as five’ll-getchya-ten. But he is, so he will vote Green. So I knew she (and by extension, he) were unreachable.

But, there you have it. Because of my influence and suasion, there are going to be five Federal election votes in Cologne and NRW for the AfD on Sunday, where there would otherwise be four for the CDU and one for the SPD. And as my mother-in-law tells me, though I already knew this without saying, getting my stubborn father-in-law and to a lesser extent my wife (who as I have written here in the past, takes after her father) to change their otherwise long made-up minds about anything is as good as an actual successful coup. They can and have changed their own minds, but nobody but nobody but nobody individually can do it. Until now.

Ironically, I rate my sales abilities as so bad that I couldn’t sell an overcoat to an Eskimo in the Yukon in January.

It’s a really weighty thing to know that I alone among this planet’s inhabitants have the cheat code to my father-in-law.

And I have now officially become an Influencer. Even though to be fair, I’ve always had some measure of influence wherever I am and whatever I’m doing.

Now, for everyone else:




6 responses

22 09 2021

Remember back in 2016 how amazed everyone was that Trump almost carried Minnesota? I wasn’t surprised, because the news came out a few weeks before that Trump won the straw poll of Minnesota high school students.

There was a mass straw poll of under 18s here in the last week, that is said to be close enough to statistically representative of the under 18 population in general, and the AfD outright won in all the federal states that used to be East Germany (except Berlin), and in the west, it did much better among under 18s than the polling of adults suggests it will do on Sunday.

Plain words, I will be the least surprised if Team Blue outperforms the polling.

22 09 2021
Hard Right

Do they do most of their polling on landlines like they do here?

23 09 2021

They also do it on the “Handy,” as it’s called.

22 09 2021
David In TN

Twenty years ago I was reading a political magazine article. The writer stated (sort of an aside) that “women don’t pay that much attention to politics.”

This has been born out in my own experience. At my workplace it was known I was a student of history and politics. My co-workers often asked questions, women were the least informed.

My mother always voted how my father decided.

23 09 2021

To be totally fair and honest, my susasion was only part of the reason for my father-in-law. Armin Laschet being such a dud and his distaste toward the last of the Merkel years helped. Four years ago, he toyed with not voting for the CDU. Wound up doing it, and regretted it within 24 hours of doing it.

26 09 2021

Part of the reason why my wife changed her mind is also now the fact that she’s a mother. Of course, it’s not like I didn’t have anything to do with that.

It's your dime, spill it. And also...NO TROLLS ALLOWED~!

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