Better Late

20 11 2015

Your Blogmeister’s Desk

A few weeks ago, when I was thinking a lot about generational divides, I happened to write this clever and semi-snarky post.  For some odd reason, when I published it, I didn’t realize I set the post to “private.”  So when I wanted to search for something I wrote in it, I discovered that the post was not available for public view.  After a few minutes of digging, I figured out why.


Kids These Days

25 10 2015

Your Blogmeister’s Desk

Nonagenarian WWII vets look at sixtysomething baby boomers who never had any Depression/WWII style struggles in their lives, roll their eyes, and be like:  “Kids these days.”

Sixtysomething baby boomers who never had any Depression/WWII style struggles in their lives look at we middle aged video game and comic book junkies in Generation X, roll their eyes, and be like:  “Kids these days.”

We middle aged video game and comic book junkies in Generation X look at twentysomething phone-zombie allergic to nightclubs Millennials, roll our eyes, and be like:  “Kids these days.”

Twentysomething phone-zombie allergic to nightclubs Millennials look at post-Millennials in middle school, roll their eyes, and be like:  “Kids these days.”

Post-Millennials in middle school look at their newborn cousins crying, roll their eyes, and be like:  “Kids these days.”

Point is, maybe I’m worried about nothing.


We Need a Hustle

23 11 2014

Your Blogmeister’s Desk

I’ve been thinking about the FBI takedown this week of the two Panther bomb bros.

On the one hand, maybe the cigar was just a cigar.

Or, maybe there’s another hand to work with here.  Perhaps this is a message that Obama/Holder/FBI is sending down to the streets:  Being a victim is a lot more lucrative.  If the ooks start setting off pipe bombs, they lose a lot of moral authority to be victims.

Maybe one of the problems with our movement is that we haven’t come up with a good enough victim hustle yet.

Four Months in Jeff City

29 06 2014

Your Blogmeister’s Desk

I have come up with another theory why the RINOs and the Republican establishment wants more than anything else in the world, with the exception of amnesty and open borders, wants to crush the Tea Party Movement, especially its propensity to challenge RINOs and establishmentarians in Republican primaries and on occasion beat them.

One thing I quickly learned from my first full Missouri legislative session as a cub lobbyist is that the lobbyists that make the big bucks are the ones who have some sort of social currency with the existing politicians.  This is why I couldn’t figure out why the people who hired Kit Bond to lobby Republicans in the General Assembly to do Medicaid expansion were so hot on Kit Bond.  First off, he looks barely one step over warmed over death these days.  For another, and more importantly, he hasn’t had an elected political job in Jefferson City since 1984, and when he left the U.S. Senate in 2010, he was quickly forgotten, and nobody but the D.C. liquor stores missed him.  Helping that along was that his replacement, Roy Blunt, was pretty much a letter-for-letter drop-in replacement for Bond, except for the alcohol consumption habits.  Did the people who hired Kit Bond to lobby for Medicaid expansion think that Bond still had some great social capital to spend among state legislators who, thanks to term limits, turn over pretty quickly now?

The Federal government has lot more power than and spends a lot more money than the Missouri state government.  Therefore, the swarm of lobbyists around Washington, D.C. is far more intense than around Jefferson City, Missouri.  Furthermore, there are no term limits on Federal legislators.  Add all those factors together and what you get is a constant self-perpetuating club divided into only two parties and two chambers of people that comprise bodies with a low rate of turnover.  Therefore, lobbyists have a lot easier job in Washington because they have a far easier time leveraging relationships and spending social capital in order to accomplish something the lobbyist’s clients want.

Take Eric Cantor.  If he takes some seven-figure lobbying job starting in January, whoever gives him that big salary isn’t giving to him as a gift or a lifetime achievement award or a sinecure.  The firm who hires him has clients that wants things from the Federal government, and the firm is going to expect Cantor to leverage his personal relationships with House Republican leadership (which, as you notice, hasn’t really substantively changed after his resignation from it), and with other key House Republicans, to push certain bills along or to hold back certain bills.

Let’s look in the other party.  I don’t know if she still is anymore, but Linda Daschle, wife of former Senate Minority/Majority Leader Tom Daschle (D-SD), was a big money lobbyist for the airline industry.  Why did the airline industry think her services so valuable?  Because she shared a bed with the man who had very serious control over Democrats in the Senate.  Even when Tom Daschle himself lost his bid for re-election 2004, Linda Daschle’s lobbying services were still valuable and still were going to be for awhile, because there were still a bunch of Senate Democrats remaining who would accept the social currency that Tom Daschle had in his wallet.  Eventually it would wear out, as Democrat Senators lose re-election bids, or retire, or die in office, but for awhile, Linda Daschle can still make money.

If the voting public develops the habit to start turning out stodgy establishmentarian incumbents in their own party’s primaries, this would mean that the Federal House and Senate would start seeing frequent turnover in its membership.  That means that you wouldn’t have incumbents being able to hang around for years and years and decades and decades, and social relationships, clubs and cliques among them would be far more ephemeral, and therefore, lobbyists wouldn’t be able to exploit and manipulate them for the benefit of their clients.

If you’re a well placed Republican establishment-type incumbent in the House and Senate, the last thing you want is for all this voting-out-incumbents thing to get out of hand, because then it would decrease your own value to lobbyist firms after your own political career is over.  If the Tea Party Movement keeps the turnover rate among House Republicans high with their anti-incumbent fervor, then who will ever want to hire John Boehner for $1 million or more a year after he leaves Congress, when he’ll have no social leverage over existing House Republican members?

The Republican establishment was fine with the TPM when they were only doing street theater, dressing up in Minuteman costumes and screaming slogans.  It’s only when they started involving themselves in intra-Republican electoral politics that they started raging against it.  Now you know why.  Similarly, if the Occutards would have ever come to realize that camping out in tents had its limits, and they would have taken the next step and involved themselves in intra-Democrat electoral politics, the Democrat establishment would be similarly gunning for their heads right now.



Quick Question

15 04 2014

Your Blogmeister’s Hotel Room

When did our movement become full of 22-year old french fry jockies living in their parents’ basements?

You know the type, the ones waiting for some pure savior on a white horse to ride down from Valhalla to save us all, expecting it to happen right away.  While they’re anxiously waiting, they devote most of their comments on some of our favorite websites to bash and trash everyone and everything that’s not perfect and pure, and every person who just so happens to have at least two nickels to rub together more than they do.

This is probably nothing more than RJP’s axiom that just about everyone born after 1977 is useless.  That our movement is starting to see an influx of young blood of the Millennial Generation or Generation Y that grew up having everything handed to them on demand, and expect sociopolitics to work the same way.  Your snarky blogmeister, who just so happens to have been born in RJP’s cutoff year, might be one of the final few people who implicitly understands that things worth having have to be earned, and that politics as well as much of life in general are arts of the possible.

You’re Listening

5 03 2013

Your Blogmeister’s Pantry

A certain box of cereal in my pantry, on its back, implores me to go into its Facebook page and “tell us your story” because “we’re listening.”  As an inducement, it already has two stories from two people inside pieces of this cereal arranged in the shape of a heart.

Yeah, here’s my story I’d submit to Facebook if I did Facebook:


Dear Cereal:

I poured some of your cereal in a bowl, then put some milk on top of that.  I gradually ate it, and as I was eating, I noticed there was less and less in my bowl.  When there was no more to eat, my bowl was empty, and I was done.  That’s when I put the bowl and spoon in my dishwasher.

I guess I’ll do it all again tomorrow morning.


Snarky Schmuck
Ballwin, Missouri


Seriously, we’re begging people to talk about eating cereal on Facebook.  And we wonder why stuff like this is happening more and more.

Let’s Face It

7 12 2012

Your Blogmeister’s Desk

We’re living in the Era of Every Schmuck Loser Realizing His Full Potential (TM).

Just today:

1.  I was in a room that had no fewer than six products that are said to help one realize one’s full potential.

2.  Overheard on a talk radio ad:  “This mutual fund will help you realize your full potential.”

3.  Also overheard on talk radio:  “An e-mail address with such-and-such domain name will help you in your quest to realize your full potential.”

It’s getting to the point where I could get naked, hang upside down from a tree and do inverted sit-ups, and use the excuse that I’m only trying to realize my full potential.

Also remember that “realize one’s full potential” came straight out of public relations departments, and a lot of men who do PR have something in common.  Therefore, the Era of Every Schmuck Loser Realizing His Full Potential has a strong crossover with the Era of LGBTQMIAPDLOLPLPLTH.


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