Pinned Post (Newer Content Follows Below)

15 11 2017

Your Blogmeister’s Secret Hideout

I’m going to “pin” this post to the top, with newer posts below.

My posting storm of November 14 is so voluminous, plus other posts here since then, that my posts just before that about my condition are already buried, so I want to link to those directly in a pinned post. Before then, I’ll say here that probably the most critical thing to understand right now, mid-November 2017, and probably will continue to be the case for quite some time, is that my short term memory when it comes to people is still borked, which means if you’re a person that I’ve either known or known of for a relatively short period of time, i.e. for only five years or fewer, then I probably will not inherently remember you.

Best News In Months — Norm’s post on November 13 predicating my return

Hello World (Take Two) — My first post here, that evening, after almost four long months

With Some Yuge Caveats — A long and detailed run down of my condition and my near term prospects, posted not long after that

Missouri’s Loosey Goosey Texting While Driving Laws — About why my assailant will never face criminal charges, and why the law will eventually be changed

From Bugatti to Corvette — Why I’m not doing as well as it seems just from reading my writing here since my return

As I Pursue My Ph.D. in Powerology — How I’m sensing my brain is rewiring itself, after four full months of recovery

Lucky Dominoes — The series of fortunate circumstances that resulted in this not killing me instantly

Norm’s post on July 20, the day after the fact, just so you know what precisely happened, in case you don’t already

I’ll link to all of my individual posts from November 14’s post storm, for handy reference, all 29 of them, including the preview.  Preview, YT Limited State, Harveywood, Trump’s First Summer, North Korea, AL-SEN, Catalonia, Vegas Nutbar, 2016 FBI Crime Report, Decline of BLM, NFL Kneeling, Anti-Cop Urban Whites, Astronomy News, 95 Theses 500th, CA HIV Laws, Illini vs Math, HRC Doc Hoax, Donna Brazile, STL Prop P, Hamilton in STL, Kenneka Jenkins, Grammarly Disease, Halloween Jihad in NYC, Fearless Girl, Common Core Meltdown, Frat Splat, Charlottesville, Jason Stockley, Bonus Tidbits.

One more thing:  If the post starts with a geographical moniker of some sort, it’s me doing the writing.  If it starts with “Guest post by Puggg,” it’s Norm, the best friend anyone could ever have, doing the writing.

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The Political is the Viciously Personal

13 12 2017

Montgomery, Alabama

In other news, I see Mitch McConnell won a major battle in his World War against Steve Bannon yesterday.  A really good down to earth honest man was a collateral casualty.

I bet some time today, Bannon will call Trump and have him convince Jeff Sessions, (remember, this is his old Senate seat), to scour the Federal law books for anything to string up McConnell and Doug Jones.

Remember when I predicted back before the accident that we’ve already passed the point of no return, and that on what is scheduled to be Election Day 2020, the person of Donald J. Trump would be either one of two things, dead or king?  I still see that happening, but I also must admit that the more I think about it, realizing that that’s a dangerous thing considering what kind of brain I’m working with these days, the more I have to confess that I’m continuing to make that prediction as a function of the imperative much more than the prophecy.  In other words, I’m making it not necessarily as a matter of something I think will happen, but as something I hope will happen, per the power of suggestion.  I hope Trump just gets tired of the shit, says fuck it, nukes D.C., and then crowns himself king and rules from atop Trump Tower.  He doesn’t like the White House anyway, from what I hear.

“You got all that from one fluke election, did ya?”

Didn’t I tell you a few minutes ago in my last post that my brain is fucked up?





I’m Sick of This Shit

13 12 2017

Your Blogmeister’s Secret Hideout

I’m really, really sick of this shit.

Now that I’m on the sunny side of this fifteen round bout I went with some variant of the influenza virus in the ring, a whole lot of orange juice, vitamin drinks and Tylenol saw me through it, (docs didn’t want to give me Tamiflu because my immune system was fine and I’m not a high risk age or illness group), even though I think it will take another day or two for me to shake the lingering symptoms, my natural impatience is starting to seep through.

I want to get over this flu for good.

Then I want my memory back, all of it.  I’m getting tired of my brain fucking with me, echoing names through my head like Nicholas Stix, or Chiseled Adonis, or Petronius, or Fightology, or Gentle Grizzly, or Chastity Prejean, or William McKinnon, or Cejuan25, or Hondo, or Vincent Law, or Randell Gary, or Lana Lokteff, or many others, and then the same brain will turn around and not let me remember who any of these people are or why they’re supposed to be important to me. All these names going through my head that I don’t inherently remember. Goddamnit.

Then I want my cognitive function back, all of it.  Including my speed of thinking and my reaction time.  I also want all of my logic and reason ability back.  I’m tired of my brain fucking with me, making me think it would be a good idea to pull up on my assailant at the address where I know he lives, coax him out, and then just let loose with the strap, or, failing that, I could always burn down his parents’ house.  First off, I can’t drive, so I couldn’t get there — It would take hell of a long time to get there in a non-motorized wheelchair.  Second, if I ask someone in my immediate corporeal circle to drive me to such and such address in such and such place for the purpose of either murdering someone or burning that house down, they’d be as crazy as I am right now if they agreed to it.  Third, doing any of that won’t make my situation any better off.  I’d still be the same brain damaged semi-gimp after committing one or more major felonies as I was before.

Then I want my physical function back, all of it.  I want to be able to drive a car and play golf again.  I don’t want this wheelchair to be my permanent drinking buddy.

[Outstretched upwards-facing palm]

Give it here. Right now. Not six months from now, not three months from now, not next month, not next week, not tomorrow, not this evening, not later this afternoon, not after lunch, but right the fuck now.

Really, I know that it’s not going to be that easy, or that quick.

I also know what all the experts with all the diplomas have told me over and over again: One day at a time. I have to live one day at a time, fully understanding and accepting my current limitations and handicaps, meaning I have to operate in the sphere of what I’m able to do and try to make the best of it.  You know, the whole “don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do” after school special bromide.  Because it will be at least a handful of months and maybe more than another year until we know how well I’ll recover, and if my plateau is at any state in any way underneath what I was when July 19 started, from there we can go forward adjusting to the new normal.

I guess what I really should be writing here is that I want my whole pre-July 19 life back again. I want to live again, I want to be productive again, I don’t want to be a useless parasite anymore. It’s been so long that I don’t even know anymore what my own house looks like. Hell, it’s been so long since I’ve done any form of, well, that, that I think I’ve forgotten what that is all about, and I might have to be given “the talk” again. I’m wondering if the TBI hasn’t affected that particular functionality, because I haven’t had an ounce of desire to do any hand to gland combat, much less any chance that I’d be able to engage in said activity with any willing women; the lack of such women is understandable considering the circumstances.

And as I sit here today, still in bed, I can’t be certain of getting any one of these things back, or even if what I’ve gotten back in my recovery so far will even stick with me.  As you all know, I can’t even be 100% certain about just plain staying above ground, even though the more time goes on, the slimmer the already slim odds of that happening become.

Now, back to a more reality-based situation at hand, the doctors were spot on when they predicted that during the low points of my battle with the flu that I’d have occasions when the scant few times I would feel well enough just to get out of bed and use the pot would be times when my lingering TBI problems would mean I wouldn’t have full and proper motor control of my legs. The people who helped me in those situations, well, they’re saints, if only because they had to see things that they could never un-see.  Further complicating things is that several flu symptoms are fatigue, vomiting, headaches and general body aches.  Of course I had those and all the other common flu symptoms since the infection really set in, but the problem is that those I listed are also lingering TBI symptoms for me, so I couldn’t tell if they were coming from the flu, the TBI or a little of both at the same time.

For the record, I had this year’s flu shot, so I am told, in late October.  Turns out it was no help at all, and I see that that’s probably going to be a very common story this winter.  This is also my second flu tour of duty, my first when I was 18 years old, and in that year, the flu set in immediately after I got the flu shot, which means the flu shot caused it, the “inert” virus in that shot turned out to have been still alive.

To net it out, I’m tired of operating on just half a brain and half a body.

Did I mention that I’m sick of this shit?





My Increased Sensitivity.

11 12 2017

Guest post by Puggg

Just wanted to check in for a minute.

A few of my colleagues had to scrape some kid off the pavement on 55 by the Imperial Main exit over the weekend.

If you’re thinking that something’s amiss about the third car that caused this, then you’re right.  I know what’s going on here, but I can’t say it here.  All I can say is that I’m having that July 19 deja vu feeling all over again.  If you want to use that as a clue.

Ever since then, I seem to be taking all these person hit by car calls personally.





Chicken Soup for the Brain Damaged Flu Ridden Soul

7 12 2017

Your Blogmeister’s Secret Hideout

This flu seems to have eased up on me, for now.  I don’t think it’s done with me, quite yet.

I need some encouragement from my peanut gallery.  Yes, I’m asking people, most of whom I still don’t inherently remember, for this.  Alluding to my more chronic medical problem.

I really do have a lot of nerve, don’t I?

Anyway, get in the comment box.





Relax, It’s Not Me.

5 12 2017

Guest post by Puggg

I’m sure you all saw it by now.

I live in Arnold, and only a short distance from the scene, where 141 ends at Jeffco.  But APD is not my agency, JCSD is.

This is precisely the reason why our Blogmeister and I exchanged internet account information several years back, because I always thought that if one of us would have been needed like this, it would have been him keeping me up, and not the other way around.  Because I always feared, and in fact, even still do even though I’m now a detective, that someone who really doesn’t want to be arrested is going to do the worst.  This, today, could have been me.

But it better not be me, and nothing really serious better happen to me, because if both Blogmeister and I are out of commission, neither one of us can do anything for the other.





Three Letters He Didn’t Need.

4 12 2017

Guest post by Puggg

Remember back on Saturday, Blogmeister said he was starting to feel blah?

I wrote a comment there that I was planning to stop by and see him that day, but a bunch of stuff came up at work, and that I’d try for the next day, which was yesterday, but knowing by then he wasn’t feel good, I’d call first.

I called yesterday, and he was feeling much worse yesterday than on Saturday, so I held back.

This morning, worse yet.  So, it was off to Acute Care with him.

It’s the flu.

This means I’m back off the bench for a week to two.  Of course with the flu you’ve got to watch it real close.  This could be an easy flu and be gone sooner than a week, or a bad one and last three weeks or more, and then there’s always the worst possibility when it comes to flu, even though docs tell uncle the blood work which proves flu also shows his immune system is healthy enough, so that the worst probably won’t happen.

Uncle told me that acute care docs talked with his rehab docs, and that for the most part, this flu and the lingering traumatic brain injury have nothing to do with each other.  Which means that one won’t make the other worse.  The only hangup is that, as we all know, the traumatic brain injury is continuing to cause him problems when it comes to standing upright for anything close to a long period of time, and we all know the flu makes you weak.  That means coming up now when he’s suffering the worst of the flu symptoms, the rare few moments when he’ll have the oomph to get out of bed and do the necessary things in the necessary room may be at the same time when his brain won’t be letting his legs cooperate, which means he’ll need help, which of course he has plenty of where he’s being hidden out.

But I know I can’t be part of that help, because I’ve never had the flu, so I can’t be around him until he’s getting better from it.





Truck Attack?

3 12 2017

Guest post by Puggg

Channel 4 News:

HAMEL, Ill. (KMOV.com) — Illinois State Police have released the identity of the semi-truck driver that plowed into several vehicles on Interstate 55 near Hamel Nov. 21.

Mohamed Jama, 53, of Colorado was the driver behind the wheel. So far, he has not been charged or issued any tickets.

Mohamed?

Truck terrorism?

There’s also this from the paper over in Belleville.

I looked up Mohamed Jama in a search engine and it spit out a Somalian kick boxer.